Andersen Advice

From Heartbreak to Happily Ever After: How Linx Was Born

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Most people don’t look back on heartbreak with gratitude. But in my case, a painful breakup became the unlikely spark that launched my life’s calling.

In the early 2000s, I was living in San Francisco when I met someone at a networking event. Our relationship drew me down to Silicon Valley—a part of the Bay Area I hadn’t explored growing up in Mill Valley. What I found surprised me: a social ecosystem unlike anything I had ever seen.

There was an abundance of eligible, accomplished men… and yet, a shortage of women in the same circles. His friends would quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) ask me to set them up. Meanwhile, my girlfriends in San Francisco lamented how impossible it felt to meet decent, available men. It was as if the puzzle pieces were scattered across two cities but no one was putting them together. That’s when the lightbulb went off: what if I bridged the gap?

From Connector to Cupid

Matchmaking wasn’t such a leap. I had always been the connector type—the person who instinctively knew which two people should meet. With a degree in communications from USC, some early career chapters in PR and finance, and a natural entrepreneurial streak, I realized I could channel my instincts into something much bigger.

In 2003, I officially launched Linx Dating. The name was simple yet symbolic: linking two people together, with the “x” serving as both a hug and a nod to Silicon Valley’s precision. What started with a few referrals grew organically into a curated community of some of the most extraordinary people in the Bay Area—and eventually, the world.

A Different Kind of Matchmaking

Forget the clichés of old-world yentas. Linx was never about volume or gimmicks—it was about discernment. My clients are brilliant, high-achieving individuals: startup founders, professors, C-suite executives, even international royalty. They excel in their careers but often feel frustrated when it comes to love.

Through personal interviews, guided reflection, and yes, plenty of “homework,” I work with each client to define the core DNA of what makes a lasting partnership. In the early days, I leaned on scientific assessments; now, after thousands of meetings and two decades of experience, I know that chemistry, intuition, and timing matter just as much. I often say 85% of what I do is intuition—fine-tuned from years of listening deeply, observing patterns, and sensing when two people are truly aligned. 

Walking the Walk

Of course, being a matchmaker didn’t mean my own love story came easily. My single years unfolded long before dating apps like Bumble or Hinge. Back then, I was putting myself on Match.com, Yahoo Personals, and eHarmony. Obviously, I was never going to date my clients, which made things even more challenging. And for me—as a single founder and strong woman—many men were not comfortable with the idea of me running my own business, particularly as a professional matchmaker.

It was a very challenging journey. Ultimately, I decided to move from San Francisco back to Palo Alto, because I felt the community and lifestyle there would better serve me in finding my future husband. And I was right.

Serendipity struck when a friend set me up on a blind date with the man who would become my husband. That first date lasted nine hours. ;-)  At the end of the night, he walked me back to my little apartment on Forest Avenue in Palo Alto and said he wanted to see me again—the very next day. Sure enough, we had our second date right away, and from then on, we were essentially exclusive. It was just right. Nine months later, he proposed. Today we share a beautiful marriage and a son. My own story reminds me—and my clients—that when it’s right, it truly is right.

Love, Curated

Today, I continue to do what I love most: helping extraordinary men and women find each other. Linx offers different membership tiers, from entry-level to highly bespoke VIP engagements that involve exhaustive searches across the globe. But regardless of tier, I remind everyone of one truth: matchmaking is not about guarantees, it’s about increasing the probability of love.

And many times, for the lucky few I get to call my clients, love arrives through Linx. What matters most is keeping an open heart and putting in the effort.

If there’s one final piece of advice I can offer, it’s this: don’t judge too quickly. Slow down. Pay attention. Give the person in front of you the chance to surprise you. Every experience—every heartbreak, every near miss, every false start—is a stepping stone that brings you closer to the relationship you truly deserve.

That, in essence, is the mission of Linx: to remind you that love isn’t a matter of luck. It’s a matter of courage, clarity, and connection.

When He’s Not Taking It to the Next Level: Why You Can’t Wait Forever

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

You’ve invested your heart.
You’ve made space in your life.
You’ve been patient. Understanding. Loyal.

But still—he hasn’t made a move.

Not toward exclusivity.
Not toward engagement.
Or worse… he proposed, and now the engagement lingers indefinitely.

At Linx, we work with exceptional women—smart, successful, emotionally generous—who want to build lives with someone extraordinary. And far too often, we meet them after they’ve spent months… even years… waiting for a man to “be ready.”

Here’s the truth: you can’t build a future with someone stuck in the pause.

1. If It Feels Like Limbo, It Is

A relationship should feel like forward motion—not a holding pattern. If you’re constantly wondering when he’ll step up, commit, or get serious, chances are… he won’t. Not because you aren’t worthy, but because he isn’t ready. Or worse, he’s comfortable—right where things are.

2. Words Are Easy. Watch His Pattern.

He says he wants a future. He talks about “someday.” But when it comes time to make plans, take steps, or define the relationship—he freezes.

A man’s actions tell you everything. If his pattern is avoidance, deflection, or procrastination, then you’re not his priority. You’re his safety net.

3. Engaged… But Not Advancing? That’s a Message.

We often romanticize engagements—but forget they’re meant to lead somewhere. If a man proposes but then resists planning, avoids conversations about marriage, or seems indifferent to timelines… that’s not “taking things slow.” That’s avoidance wrapped in sentiment.

You’re not “pressuring” someone by wanting to move forward. You’re honoring your life.

4. He’s Not Confused. He’s Comfortable.

This is the hardest truth:
A man who truly wants to be with you will not stay confused for years.

“Not ready” often translates to “not willing to change.”
And as long as you continue to give him everything—your support, your time, your heart—without requiring him to meet you where you are, he’ll stay comfortable. Because comfort costs him nothing.

5. You’re Not Asking for Too Much. You’re Asking the Wrong Person.

There is nothing unreasonable about wanting commitment, momentum, or clarity.
There is nothing “difficult” about setting standards.

The right man will feel inspired by your vision—not threatened.
The right man will move forward—not drag his feet.

Final Thought: You Can Leave the Waiting Room

The next level doesn’t come from nudging, begging, or outlasting his doubts. It comes from choosing yourself. From honoring your time, your value, and your desire to build a life that moves with intention.

If he won’t meet you there, step out of the waiting room.

Because the right partner?
He’s not hesitant.
He’s ready—and already walking your way.

Real Love Is a Soft Landing, Not a Tightrope

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

We live in a culture that often mistakes intensity for intimacy.
But in my work as a matchmaker—and in my own life—the relationships that last are not the ones filled with drama, ambiguity, or constant performance.

They’re the ones that feel… peaceful.

Real love is a soft landing. Not a tightrope.

You shouldn’t feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time, bracing for the next reaction or filtering every word. That’s emotional tension—not emotional safety.

The healthiest relationships offer:

  • Room to breathe

  • Space to be fully yourself

  • Support during hard moments, not withdrawal

  • Calm more than chaos

This isn’t about settling.
It’s about not settling for instability disguised as passion.

The most meaningful relationships are the ones where you don’t have to shrink, chase, or question.
They’re built on consistency, clarity, and co-regulation.

So if you’ve been on the tightrope—
Maybe it’s time to find the soft landing.

Character Is Sexy. Standards Are Everything.

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In both love and leadership, character is the foundation.

It’s what sustains trust when charm fades. It’s what keeps you anchored when things get hard. And it’s what separates surface-level connection from something truly lasting.

Recently, I had the opportunity to hear General Stan McChrystal speak at Stanford. His message—rooted in decades of leadership and service—was clear: True character isn’t about being perfect. It’s about how we lead ourselves when no one is watching.

In his book On Character, McChrystal challenges us to push beyond performance and polish. He urges us to lead with moral clarity and personal accountability—to stop outsourcing responsibility and start living by the standards we claim to value.

The best leaders—and the best partners—lead with humility, conviction, and values that don’t waver under pressure.

And no one modeled this more fully than Abraham Lincoln.
He didn’t chase popularity.
He didn’t adapt to please the crowd.
He stood for principle.
He led with clarity, calm, and deep moral responsibility.

That same energy belongs in your dating life.

If you want someone of high character, start by being someone of high character.

That means:

  • No more waiting for the “right” person to show up.

  • No more blaming timing, apps, or ghosting.

  • No more lowering your standards to feel chosen.

You have agency. You are not stuck.
You are in charge of who you choose, what you allow, and how you show up.

The moment everything changes is the moment you accept full responsibility—not just for your outcomes, but for your energy, your effort, and your standards.

Don’t chase chemistry. Choose character.

Don’t hope for integrity. Require it.

Don’t wish for connection. Build it—with someone who’s done the work, too.

Ask yourself: What am I choosing in love right now? And more importantly… who am I becoming?

Because in dating—just like in life—you don’t get what you want.
You get what you’re willing to walk toward with courage, clarity, and intention.

Why Matchmaking Matters More Than Ever: 23 Years of Curating Love with Intention

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Exhausted by modern dating? You’re not alone.

With endless swiping, ghosting, and superficial connections, many successful singles are quietly asking: Is this really the best way to meet someone meaningful?

I’ve been answering that question for over two decades.

When I launched Linx Dating 23 years ago, the dating world looked very different. Matchmaking wasn’t trendy—it was often misunderstood, even dismissed. But I saw what others didn’t yet: a hunger for real, lasting connection built on values, alignment, and trust.

Fast forward to today, and that need has only grown stronger.

A Thoughtful Alternative to the App Ecosystem

Unlike dating apps—where you’re expected to vet strangers, protect your own safety, and guess someone’s intentions—Linx offers something much more refined.

We handle the legwork.

We curate each introduction.

We protect your privacy.

We honor your standards.

Your time is valuable, and your heart is not a commodity. Preferences around religion, family, and lifestyle aren’t secondary—they’re central. Our process is discreet, personalized, and deeply intentional.

A Cultural Shift, Now in the Spotlight

The release of the new film The Materialists is just the latest proof that private, elite matchmaking is no longer a hidden service—it’s part of the zeitgeist.

In the film, a luxury matchmaker plays a central role in a storyline about status, love, and self-worth. While satirical in tone, it captures a growing truth: the smartest, most emotionally mature singles aren’t wasting time—they’re investing wisely in their relationships. The culture is catching up to what I’ve always known.

More Than Matches—It’s a Partnership

At Linx, clients receive far more than names.

They get coaching.

Wardrobe guidance.

Date feedback.

And quiet confidence that someone is in their corner.

Yes, premium matchmaking is an investment—but one that can transform your entire life. While no service can guarantee love (this is life, not a transaction), what I bring is 23 years of pattern recognition, deep human insight, and a rarefied global network of exceptional individuals.

Because love isn’t about quantity—it’s about alignment.

And when it’s right, one introduction is all it takes.