Love Is Sacred: Why Market Principles Matter in Modern Dating

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

At Linx, we work with some of the most successful, driven individuals in the world—people who have built companies, shaped industries, and achieved remarkable things. But when it comes to love, even the most accomplished people often find themselves stuck. Not because they’re unworthy of love, but because love doesn’t operate like the other areas of their life. It can’t be optimized, rushed, or hacked.

Love, connection, trust, and emotional safety are what economist Debora Spar refers to as “sacred goods.” These are experiences we crave but unlike most goods, they can’t be bought or sold. Still, they behave like market items: demand is high, supply is limited, and meaningful exchanges are required to access them.

This framework deeply reflects what we see at Linx. When emotional needs go unmet, it’s often not about the individual—it’s about mismatched environments. You might be ready for intimacy but surrounded by people who aren’t. You may want long-term commitment but are dating in a culture that rewards novelty and speed. Part of what we do is correct that imbalance. We introduce our clients to people who are not only aligned in values and timing, but also emotionally ready for something real.

And real relationships require clarity. In Spar’s research, she highlights how sacred exchanges fall apart when communication breaks down—when people assume their partner should “just know” what matters. In our work, we see this all the time: two great people, both well-meaning, missing each other because they’re not communicating their needs, expectations, or emotional values clearly enough. That’s why coaching is so central to our process. We help clients name what they want, understand what they need, and recognize the signs of healthy alignment.

It’s also why we’re deeply intentional about how we operate. You can’t incentivize sacred goods with money. You can’t swipe your way to depth. But you can invest in a structure that protects what matters. At Linx, we’ve built that structure. We prioritize discretion, curation, and emotional investment. We meet every client personally. We listen. We guide. And we make matches with a level of care that honors the emotional weight of what’s at stake.

There’s a reason we don’t rely on algorithms or mass marketing. We believe the most meaningful relationships come from thoughtful, human-led connections—ones that are rooted in trust, not trends.

Because love isn’t casual. It’s sacred. And the people who find it are the ones willing to treat it that way.

Should You Share Your Last Name on a First Date?

By Amy Andersen, CEO of Linx Dating

There’s a small moment that happens early in dating — so subtle you might miss it.

They ask: “What’s your last name?”

For many, it’s casual small talk. But for others — especially high-profile professionals, public figures, or anyone navigating a sensitive transition — it can feel unexpectedly vulnerable.

At Linx Dating, I coach clients through much more than introductions. I prepare them for real-world moments like this — where connection and discretion intersect. And when it comes to personal information like your last name, I always offer this guiding principle: You are under no obligation to share your last name on a first date.

At Linx, We Lead With Discretion

My style at Linx is simple: I do not disclose last names when introductions occur. Ever. I believe that meaningful connections should unfold organically — based on chemistry, compatibility, and shared values — not a quick Google search or surface-level assumptions. That said, once the date begins and two people are talking directly, they may ask. That’s why I always advise clients to be prepared in advance, rather than caught off guard in the moment.

When that moment comes, understand that some people ask without thinking twice — and that might be something you’re not used to. It can be as simple as them being used to adding your last name to their contacts. It doesn’t have to be a red flag. But if it gives you pause, it’s worth being prepared ahead of time so you can respond in a way that feels true to you.

What to Say (Gracefully and Confidently)

If you’re not ready to share your last name, you can still respond with warmth and poise. Here are a few options that work beautifully:

• “I usually wait to share last names until I’ve had a chance to get to know someone better — I hope that’s okay.”

• “I’ve learned to keep things light in the early stages — it helps me stay present.”

• “Mystery is underrated these days, don’t you think?” (said with a smile) And I have told client to blame me, “I’m not sure Amy would want us breaking her rules!” (Humor goes a long way).

These aren’t evasive. They’re self-aware. And they often reveal something meaningful — how the other person handles a boundary.

Privacy Isn’t Paranoia. It’s Strength

When someone asks your last name early on, it’s often well-intended. But you get to decide what you share and when. Protecting your privacy doesn’t mean you’re hiding something. It means you’re pacing things intentionally — and allowing trust to grow in real time, not through background checks. Boundaries create safety. And safety leads to deeper connection.

The Bottom Line

In early dating, you’re not just learning about the other person — you’re setting the tone for how you want to be treated. That starts with honoring your own comfort, especially when your personal information carries weight. So if your instinct is to hold back? Honor it. The right person won’t question your boundary. They’ll respect it — and look forward to learning more, the meaningful way.

Want more discreet, high-integrity dating advice? Let’s connect. I’m always here to help.

Master “Cobbler” of Connections: Curated Matchmaking for High-Achievers

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Matchmaking is one of humanity’s oldest traditions—long before swipes and algorithms, there were trusted matchmakers - the expert “cobblers” of connection. Like a skilled cobbler who knows every shoe’s story and carefully mends and shapes each pair to ensure a perfect fit, matchmaking has always been a craft requiring patience, intuition, and deep personal knowledge.

At Linx Dating, this timeless tradition is alive and thriving. For over 20 years, we’ve dedicated ourselves to working with a very small, elite group of high-achieving individuals—primarily Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, investors, executives, and creatives—helping them find relationships that truly fit their lives and aspirations.

What sets Linx apart is the intensely personal, hands-on approach I bring to every step. I personally review each and every application that comes through our network. Not only do I hand-input all the data myself (a laborious process that few take on in today’s automated world), but I also personally respond to every applicant. This level of care and attention is simply unheard of in today’s matchmaking landscape.

Why go to such lengths? Because understanding every nuance—the stories, values, hopes, and even the fears—behind each client is essential to creating introductions that matter. This painstaking work is how I identify connections that others (including a lot of technologies as well) miss. It’s why our clients trust Linx with some of the most important decisions of their lives.

Linx Dating is neither about volume, nor about relying on technology to do the heavy lifting. It’s about real human connection, absolute discretion, and the artful craft of matching people with intention and care.

For those who expect excellence in every area of life, Linx is a trusted partner for finding love that fits.

The Magnetic Power of Loving Your Life

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In the world of modern dating, it’s easy to get caught up in strategy—what to say, when to text, how to present your best self. But if there’s one truth I’ve seen time and again in my years as a matchmaker, it’s this: the most attractive people are the ones who are genuinely excited about their lives.

Do something that sets your soul on fire.

This isn’t just feel-good advice—it’s a dating strategy in disguise. When you’re deeply engaged in a passion, whether it's launching a startup, training for a marathon, painting, cooking, or volunteering—something that makes you feel alive—you become magnetic. Your energy shifts. People feel it. They’re drawn to your vitality, your authenticity, your spark.

Too often, we treat dating as a separate sphere from the rest of life, like a side hustle we're supposed to "optimize." But your love life isn't a separate project. It grows from the same soil as everything else in your world. If you’re depleted, bored, or chasing someone else’s version of success, your relationships will reflect that. If you’re lit up, energized, and chasing your dreams? That radiance attracts people who want to join you for the ride.

This is why I always tell clients: focus on being deeply in love with your own life. When you’re firing on all cylinders, doing work that matters to you and surrounding yourself with people and environments that feed your spirit, your dating life doesn’t feel like a chore. You stop “performing” and start connecting. And that’s where the real magic happens.

The right relationship is not something to hunt down in desperation. It’s something you attract when you're truly living in alignment with your purpose.

So take the class. Start the business. Book the trip. Say yes to the dream that scares and excites you.

Because your future partner? They’re not looking for someone who’s perfect. They’re looking for someone who’s real. Someone who lights up the room—not by trying too hard, but by being fully, unapologetically alive.

Let the love you seek begin with the life you build.

Navigating the Unique Challenges of Dating in Silicon Valley: Insights from Amy Andersen

Illustration by Jess Hutchison

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

I’m incredibly grateful to The San Francisco Standard  for recently featuring Linx Dating and shining a light on the complexities of matchmaking in Silicon Valley. As the founder of Linx Dating, I’ve had the privilege of working with some of the Bay Area’s most successful individuals, many of whom are high-powered professionals with little time for traditional dating apps and a strong desire for privacy. But despite their incredible careers, finding love here presents its own unique set of challenges.

1. The Time Crunch and High Expectations

One of the most common threads I see with my clients is their overwhelming busyness. Silicon Valley professionals are constantly on the go—whether they're managing tech startups, closing multimillion-dollar deals, or overseeing major investments. In fact, many of my clients are so time-starved that the thought of spending hours on a dating app feels like a luxury they can’t afford. As I mentioned in the SF Standard article, "Their time and privacy are very important to them, so dating apps or websites are not going to work."

That’s why the matchmaking industry has experienced significant growth in recent years, as more successful individuals seek a personalized, discreet approach to finding love amidst their busy lives. Personalized matchmaking is essential for these clients. They are used to achieving high standards in their careers, so naturally, their expectations for a partner are high as well. But sometimes, these expectations can verge on the unrealistic. It’s not uncommon for clients to approach dating like a business transaction, creating spreadsheets or checklists. That’s where I step in, guiding them to understand that true compatibility goes beyond resumes and idealized criteria. As I’ve said before, “Finding the right match is about compatibility, not perfection.”

2. The Wealth Dynamic and Pressure for “Unicorn” Matches

Another challenge I often encounter is the pressure that comes with wealth. Many clients come to me with specific requirements regarding financial parity, sometimes looking for someone in the same income bracket, or even higher. There’s a risk of mismatched expectations when there are significant financial disparities, but also, some clients have what I like to call "unicorn expectations"—wanting a partner who ticks every box, from looks to intellect to lifestyle.

I often turn away 98% of potential clients. This isn’t because I don’t want to help, but because I truly believe that finding the right match isn’t about perfection. A great relationship is about shared values, emotional connection, and genuine compatibility—not a laundry list of qualifications. As I always tell my clients, “The secret sauce of matchmaking is that it’s often the candidates that are a slight deviation outside of someone’s original thinking that are the winners.”

And matchmaking and finding the right partner is not as black and white as we would like to think. There are endless nuances and "grey areas" that make love and connection so unique. It's important to ease the rigidities and hard parameters that often come with dating, allowing for the flexibility to find the right person in unexpected places.

3. Navigating Silicon Valley's Unique Preferences

What makes Silicon Valley so unique is its culture, which impacts dating in ways that might seem foreign elsewhere. Many of my clients are deeply involved in the local subcultures of tech, and this often brings up specific preferences or dealbreakers. Burning Man, for example, is a divisive topic. Some clients are passionate Burners who couldn’t imagine being with someone who isn’t, while others see it as a deal-breaker. Similarly, conversations about psychedelics, microdosing, or even unconventional sexual preferences come up more often here than in other places.

Matchmaking in the Bay Area isn’t just about finding someone who’s attractive or has a good job—it’s about aligning values and lifestyles, which can sometimes be a tricky balance. I’m here to guide my clients through these conversations with care and understanding.

4. The Need for Privacy and Discretion

For many successful people in Silicon Valley, privacy is paramount. They live in a world where their every move is scrutinized, and even the idea of being seen on a traditional dating app feels like an invasion of their privacy. As I shared in the SF Standard article, I work with clients who are so discreet that they use encrypted messaging platforms like ProtonMail or Signal to communicate. Privacy concerns are often the reason they come to me, seeking a more personalized, secure approach to dating.

For these individuals, public dating profiles are not an option. Whether they are well-known figures in tech or investors in high-profile companies, the risk of exposure can be a complete non-starter. Sometimes, I’ll even schedule phone calls instead of in-person meetings to avoid being seen by others.

5. Can AI Replace Traditional Matchmaking?

As much as technology continues to advance, there’s one thing that’s remained constant: human connection. While AI-driven matchmaking tools are emerging, I continue to believe that there’s no substitute for the personal touch when it comes to love. As I told the SF Standard, “Many of my clients have built these AI technologies or different dating apps, and yet they’re choosing me.”

AI can be a useful tool in screening large pools of potential matches, but it can’t replace the nuanced understanding that comes from a live matchmaker. The deeper emotional intelligence, tailored coaching, and real-time feedback I offer are what help my clients truly connect with someone on a meaningful level.

I want to again thank The San Francisco Standard for highlighting the work I do at Linx Dating and for shedding light on the complexities of matchmaking in this incredible city. The stories shared by my clients and the insights gained over the years continue to remind me of how rewarding this work truly is. It’s not just about finding someone to date—it’s about helping people find real, lasting connection in a world where time is scarce and privacy is priceless.

To read the article from The San Francisco Standard click here: https://sfstandard.com/2025/03/29/silicon-valley-matchmakers-bay-area/