Putting Self-Care into Practice: A Personalized Guide

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Understanding self-care as a personal curriculum is one thing. Living it is another. Here are concrete steps to help you identify, refine, and implement the care practices that are most effective for you.

1. Start with a Self-Audit

Take 15–30 minutes to reflect on the following:

When do I feel most like myself?
What consistently drains me?
What reliably restores me?
When do I feel calm, clear, or at ease?
What do I need more of—and what do I need less of?

Write down your answers. Patterns will emerge. They are clues.

2. Track the “Noise”

For one week, note moments when you feel agitated, foggy, overstimulated, or withdrawn. Then ask:

What preceded this feeling?
Was I hungry, overcommitted, overstimulated, or isolated?
Did I bypass a need (rest, food, quiet, connection)?

This process helps you understand your signals and what causes them.

3. Design Your Self-Care Menu

Using your insights, create a personalized self-care menu with three categories:

Daily Needs
Examples: 8 hours of sleep, 10 minutes of sunlight, a short walk, uninterrupted time alone.

Weekly Needs
Examples: creative time, therapy, dinner with a friend, decluttering a space.

Emergency Tools
Examples: “I’m overwhelmed” list—meditation, nap, journaling, canceling a non-essential plan, a phone call to someone grounding.

Keep your list visible—on your phone, your mirror, your calendar.

4. Honor the Quiet Needs

Self-care isn’t always glamorous. It’s often boring, repetitive, and deeply effective.

Schedule it like a meeting.
Build it into your routines.
Resist the urge to wait until you’re “burnt out enough” to deserve it.

5. Communicate Your Needs

Let close friends, partners, or co-workers know what’s essential for your well-being. For example:

I need quiet time after work to decompress.
If I seem off, it’s usually because I haven’t eaten or slept well.
Nature resets me. I’ll be taking a solo hike this weekend.

This builds relational support for your self-care instead of trying to do it in isolation.

6. Revisit and Revise

Your needs change. Your life changes. Once a season (every 3 months), ask:

What’s working?
What’s missing?
What can I let go of?
What do I need to recommit to?

Self-care evolves—your plan should too.

Final Note

You don’t need to earn your well-being. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to justify care. You are allowed to feel good without a crisis. Start by giving yourself permission. The rest will follow.

When Gizmo Meets Cupid: Where Ideas Spark and Innovation Feels Like Magic

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Last night, I had the chance to attend something truly unforgettable: Modern Luxury Silicon Valley Magazine’s inaugural Best of Innovation event, held at the stunning Mountain Winery in Saratoga. Despite the bone-chilling cold and the windy evening, with panoramic views and a crisp breeze sweeping through the venue, the energy was nothing short of electric. The night brought together the dreamers, the builders, and the endlessly curious in a setting that felt both intimate and awe-inspiring.

This wasn’t just another tech mixer. This was an experience. Picture robots delivering sushi, flying car prototypes, AI art, wines from tech titan-owned vineyards, NASA meteorites, and the world's most sustainable food—all in one place. The event celebrated the boundless spirit of innovation that defines our region, crossing industries, cultures, and even planetary boundaries.

Because in Silicon Valley, innovation isn’t a trend—it’s our way of life.

The night promised to unveil, surprise, and inspire—and it absolutely delivered. From panel discussions to interactive displays, the event offered a glimpse into what’s next for our world—and maybe even the universe.

I attended, saw friends, mingled, and enjoyed meeting Gizmo—the adorable and impressively agile robotic dog from The Tech Interactive in downtown San Jose. Gizmo isn’t just a charming bundle of code and sensors—he’s a symbol of how tech can be engaging, delightful, interactive, and deeply human.

Which got me thinking: The Tech Interactive is such a great first date spot.

Seriously. If you’re in or around Silicon Valley and looking for something fun, smart, and a little out of the ordinary, start there. Interactive dates are always a good move—they help break the ice, give couples something to think and talk about, and help dissipate nerves when there are lots of stimuli around.

Here’s how I’d plan the ideal date at The Tech Interactive:

  • Start at the museum – With 130,000 square feet of hands-on exhibits spanning climate change, healthcare innovations, cybersecurity, robotics, and more, there’s no shortage of “whoa, look at this” moments.

  • Wander through The Dream Garden – This immersive, AI-powered experience feels like walking through a digital dream. It’s thought-provoking and interactive—a perfect metaphor for exploring a connection with someone new.

  • Catch a show at the IMAX Dome – For a truly memorable end to the night, check out Pink Floyd at Pompeii. This re-mastered 4K version of the iconic 1972 film is hypnotic. Watching Pink Floyd perform in the ghostly ruins of an ancient Roman amphitheater is a vibe—especially with surround audio that fills the West Coast’s largest IMAX Dome.

Pro Tip: Don’t rush. Grab a bite downtown afterward and let the conversation flow.

Last night reminded me how lucky we are to be surrounded by people and places pushing boundaries every day. The Best of Innovation wasn’t just a celebration of tech—it was a celebration of imagination, bold thinking, and possibility.

And if that’s not romantic in its own way, I don’t know what is.

AI Gets the Last Laugh in Silicon Valley — But Is It Going Too Far?

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Only in Silicon Valley could something as mundane as a crosswalk signal turn into a full-blown tech-fueled spoof.

This week, several crosswalks around the Bay Area were mysteriously "upgraded" — not by engineers, but by pranksters with a solid command of AI voice technology. Instead of the usual chirps or robotic tones, pedestrians were greeted by the eerily familiar voices of Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg calmly (and sometimes smugly) telling them when to cross.

Yes, really.

Thanks to generative AI and a little mischief, someone managed to swap out standard crosswalk audio with pitch-perfect impersonations of two of tech’s most iconic voices. It's the kind of thing that sounds ripped from a Black Mirrorepisode… but in Silicon Valley, it’s just another Tuesday.

As entertaining—and slightly unsettling—as it was, this prank has people asking some real questions:

  • How far will AI go in our day-to-day lives?

  • Are we witnessing a new form of satire, or a low-key warning about how vulnerable everyday systems can be?

  • At what point does clever become concerning?

This is Silicon Valley at its most on-brand—blurring the line between innovation and absurdity. The prank wasn't just funny; it was also a glimpse into how seamlessly AI can slip into our real world, not just powering our productivity but shaping culture, humor, and public space.

Let’s be honest: AI is no longer just a tool; it’s a personality. A storyteller. A trickster. A matchmaker, even.

Which brings us to a bigger point: If AI can convincingly impersonate a billionaire at a crosswalk, imagine what it can do in more intimate areas of our lives—like dating.

From curated bios to simulated conversations and even AI-generated matches, artificial intelligence is now playing Cupid. But just like those spoofed voices telling you when to cross the street, the question in dating becomes: who’s really behind the message?

In a world where authenticity is everything, especially in matters of the heart, tech may assist—but it can’t replace the human element. And maybe that’s the real punchline.

So, if you found yourself walking down University Avenue in Palo Alto and heard Zuck say “Cross now,” would you laugh? Pull out your phone to record it? Or pause for a moment and wonder… what else is being programmed?

Either way, the bots are getting bolder—and they’ve officially entered the chat. Is this too far? Or just close enough to the edge that it still feels funny?

Watch the full video

Meeting People While Traveling vs. Everyday Work Life: A Difference in Mindset and Connection (Without Breaking the Bank)

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Meeting new people is a universal part of the human experience, but the context in which we meet others can dramatically shape the connections we form. While it's easy to assume that our interactions at work and in daily life are just part of our routine, the dynamics of meeting people while traveling offer a different kind of energy—one that can feel more relaxed, carefree, and authentic. But is there something about the act of traveling itself that facilitates these connections? Or is it just that we are in a different state of mind when we're away from the grind of daily life? Let’s explore the science and psychology behind these two types of social encounters—and how you don’t need to break the bank to experience the magic of travel-based connections.

The Context of Travel: A Break from Routine (Without the Price Tag)

When you’re traveling, whether for business or pleasure, you’re often removed from the pressures of everyday life. No bills to pay, no work emails to answer, and no errands to run. You’re in a space where your attention is naturally drawn to the present moment. Whether you’re relaxing on a beach, exploring a new city, or hiking through the mountains, travel tends to take us out of our familiar, stress-inducing environments and into a more relaxed state of mind.

The best part? You don’t have to book a luxury vacation with a hefty price tag to experience these benefits. Whether it’s a weekend getaway to a nearby town or a short trip to a rural retreat, a simple change of scenery is often enough to shift your mindset, making you more open to new people and experiences. Even a quick weekend road trip or a staycation in your own city can offer a much-needed mental reset, helping you connect with people in a way that might not be possible when you’re stuck in the day-to-day routine.

This shift in mental and emotional states is crucial to how we interact with others. In fact, psychologists and sociologists point to a number of factors that make meeting people while traveling feel different from meeting people in everyday work life.

1. The "Vacation Mindset" and Social Openness

Traveling often puts people in what we can call a "vacation mindset." This term refers to the mental shift that occurs when you step away from your daily responsibilities. People are generally more open to socializing when they're on vacation because they don’t feel the constant pressure of deadlines, appointments, or to-do lists. Research has shown that when people feel relaxed, they are more likely to be approachable and open to forming new connections.

You don’t need to be in an exotic location to tap into this mindset. Even a weekend in a new environment—whether it’s a nearby beach town or a quaint bed and breakfast—can allow you to shed the pressures of your usual routine. These smaller trips offer a chance to meet new people in settings that are less transactional and more geared toward personal connections.

Theories:
Psychologist Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs suggests that once our basic needs (like food and safety) are met, we move towards higher needs like social connection. When traveling, the environment and mindset are such that people often feel more "free" to engage with others because the stress of the daily grind is temporarily lifted. Additionally, psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi’s concept of flow—the mental state of deep focus and enjoyment—can often be experienced when we travel, allowing for deeper, more relaxed interactions with others.

2. The Freedom of Being "Someone Else"

When we travel, we often feel more like we can reinvent ourselves. The anonymity of being away from home, combined with the novelty of a new environment, allows us to let go of societal expectations or the roles we play in our daily lives. You’re not the stressed-out manager of a company, the parent rushing to pick up kids, or the person juggling a million obligations. Instead, you’re just "you"—and sometimes, this version of yourself is more open, curious, and playful.

This sense of freedom can encourage authentic connections. Travelers are often more willing to take risks socially because they don’t feel confined by the labels or routines that come with their everyday life. They are more likely to strike up a conversation with a fellow tourist, join a group for a meal, or attend a social event they might otherwise skip in their regular life. The newness of the experience, coupled with the ability to be more flexible and open, often makes travel an ideal time for forging new relationships.

Theories:
This idea connects with Erving Goffman’s theory of "role distance", which explains how individuals perform certain roles in everyday life but may distance themselves from these roles in situations where they feel less bound by societal expectations. Traveling, especially to unfamiliar places, provides a kind of "psychological distance" that can make it easier for people to be more genuine and spontaneous in their interactions.

3. The Pressure of Everyday Life: Work, Bills, and Responsibilities

In contrast, when we are at home or at work, life is structured, goal-oriented, and often stressful. Between meetings, deadlines, family commitments, and bills, the day-to-day routine can leave little room for relaxation or spontaneous socializing. The constant pressure of responsibilities can make it harder to feel present in the moment, and this may affect how we interact with others.

In work settings, for example, there is often a sense of social role rigidity. You are expected to perform certain duties, and your identity is often tied to your professional role. This can create barriers to genuine connection. People may feel too busy, stressed, or "on guard" to engage deeply with colleagues, especially when the pressures of work are at their peak.

Theories:
Sociologist Anthony Giddens talks about "life politics"—the ways in which modern life forces individuals to juggle competing roles and responsibilities. When you are juggling multiple roles, such as parent, employee, and caregiver, it can be difficult to let go of the stress of those roles and truly connect with others in a meaningful way. In contrast, travel offers a kind of "role reset" where people are free from these expectations, making it easier to engage socially.

4. The Influence of Environment on Connection

There’s also something to be said about the environments we’re in. When you travel, especially to places known for their social vibrancy—like a bustling city, a tropical resort, or a cultural hub—your environment encourages interaction. You’re more likely to meet like-minded individuals who are also open to socializing and experiencing something new. This contrasts with daily life, where interactions often take place in more structured environments, like offices or local stores, and are driven by necessity rather than enjoyment.

5. The Joy of Shared Experiences

Finally, one of the key elements of meeting people while traveling is the shared experience. Whether you’re both hiking the same trail or attending the same event, shared experiences create a natural bond. There's something about experiencing the unknown together that fosters connection. In work life, connections are often made for transactional reasons—networking, career advancement, or simply out of obligation.

Theories:
Social Identity Theory by Henri Tajfel explains that shared experiences help people form bonds based on common identity or interests. When traveling, these experiences are more likely to be shared and less structured by the typical work-life divisions, encouraging people to feel part of a collective "tribe" of travelers.

A Personal Story: Learning the Power of Balance

For me, this idea really hit home years ago, when I was visiting Sydney, Australia. It was day one, and my sister and I were out socializing at a local bar. We met some cute Aussies and struck up a conversation. Still in "American work mode," I immediately led with a question about work—something that was very natural for me at the time. The guy I was talking to, in a playful but very honest way, looked at me and said, “Wow, you are so American.”

He continued, “You’re here in Australia, day drinking in the sun, meeting new people, and the first thing you’re talking about is work? Life should be more about balance. Look around at the locals. They really get the concept of not letting work dominate their lives.”

It was a moment of pure honesty, and honestly, I was a bit embarrassed. But it was a lesson that stuck with me. The laid-back Australian lifestyle was a reminder of how important it is to find balance and embrace the moment—especially when it comes to connecting with others.

Conclusion: The Power of Travel and Mindset in Making Connections (Without Breaking the Bank)

While both traveling and everyday work life offer opportunities to meet new people, the context and mindset shift that comes with being on the road can make those encounters feel more relaxed, open, and authentic. And the good news? You don’t need to book a lavish, expensive vacation to experience these benefits. A simple weekend getaway, a short stay in a nearby town, or even a quick day trip can give you the mental reset needed to form deeper, more meaningful connections.

In contrast, the pressures and structured nature of daily life can sometimes hinder spontaneous interactions, leaving us feeling disconnected even when surrounded by people. However, it’s important to note that with intention and mindfulness, we can bring some of the open, relaxed, and authentic energy of travel back into our everyday life, creating more opportunities for genuine connections wherever we are.

Whether traveling near or far, the key to forming meaningful connections lies in the mindset we bring to each encounter. If we approach life with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to be present, we can build meaningful relationships.

Navigating the Unique Challenges of Dating in Silicon Valley: Insights from Amy Andersen

Illustration by Jess Hutchison

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

I’m incredibly grateful to The San Francisco Standard  for recently featuring Linx Dating and shining a light on the complexities of matchmaking in Silicon Valley. As the founder of Linx Dating, I’ve had the privilege of working with some of the Bay Area’s most successful individuals, many of whom are high-powered professionals with little time for traditional dating apps and a strong desire for privacy. But despite their incredible careers, finding love here presents its own unique set of challenges.

1. The Time Crunch and High Expectations

One of the most common threads I see with my clients is their overwhelming busyness. Silicon Valley professionals are constantly on the go—whether they're managing tech startups, closing multimillion-dollar deals, or overseeing major investments. In fact, many of my clients are so time-starved that the thought of spending hours on a dating app feels like a luxury they can’t afford. As I mentioned in the SF Standard article, "Their time and privacy are very important to them, so dating apps or websites are not going to work."

That’s why the matchmaking industry has experienced significant growth in recent years, as more successful individuals seek a personalized, discreet approach to finding love amidst their busy lives. Personalized matchmaking is essential for these clients. They are used to achieving high standards in their careers, so naturally, their expectations for a partner are high as well. But sometimes, these expectations can verge on the unrealistic. It’s not uncommon for clients to approach dating like a business transaction, creating spreadsheets or checklists. That’s where I step in, guiding them to understand that true compatibility goes beyond resumes and idealized criteria. As I’ve said before, “Finding the right match is about compatibility, not perfection.”

2. The Wealth Dynamic and Pressure for “Unicorn” Matches

Another challenge I often encounter is the pressure that comes with wealth. Many clients come to me with specific requirements regarding financial parity, sometimes looking for someone in the same income bracket, or even higher. There’s a risk of mismatched expectations when there are significant financial disparities, but also, some clients have what I like to call "unicorn expectations"—wanting a partner who ticks every box, from looks to intellect to lifestyle.

I often turn away 98% of potential clients. This isn’t because I don’t want to help, but because I truly believe that finding the right match isn’t about perfection. A great relationship is about shared values, emotional connection, and genuine compatibility—not a laundry list of qualifications. As I always tell my clients, “The secret sauce of matchmaking is that it’s often the candidates that are a slight deviation outside of someone’s original thinking that are the winners.”

And matchmaking and finding the right partner is not as black and white as we would like to think. There are endless nuances and "grey areas" that make love and connection so unique. It's important to ease the rigidities and hard parameters that often come with dating, allowing for the flexibility to find the right person in unexpected places.

3. Navigating Silicon Valley's Unique Preferences

What makes Silicon Valley so unique is its culture, which impacts dating in ways that might seem foreign elsewhere. Many of my clients are deeply involved in the local subcultures of tech, and this often brings up specific preferences or dealbreakers. Burning Man, for example, is a divisive topic. Some clients are passionate Burners who couldn’t imagine being with someone who isn’t, while others see it as a deal-breaker. Similarly, conversations about psychedelics, microdosing, or even unconventional sexual preferences come up more often here than in other places.

Matchmaking in the Bay Area isn’t just about finding someone who’s attractive or has a good job—it’s about aligning values and lifestyles, which can sometimes be a tricky balance. I’m here to guide my clients through these conversations with care and understanding.

4. The Need for Privacy and Discretion

For many successful people in Silicon Valley, privacy is paramount. They live in a world where their every move is scrutinized, and even the idea of being seen on a traditional dating app feels like an invasion of their privacy. As I shared in the SF Standard article, I work with clients who are so discreet that they use encrypted messaging platforms like ProtonMail or Signal to communicate. Privacy concerns are often the reason they come to me, seeking a more personalized, secure approach to dating.

For these individuals, public dating profiles are not an option. Whether they are well-known figures in tech or investors in high-profile companies, the risk of exposure can be a complete non-starter. Sometimes, I’ll even schedule phone calls instead of in-person meetings to avoid being seen by others.

5. Can AI Replace Traditional Matchmaking?

As much as technology continues to advance, there’s one thing that’s remained constant: human connection. While AI-driven matchmaking tools are emerging, I continue to believe that there’s no substitute for the personal touch when it comes to love. As I told the SF Standard, “Many of my clients have built these AI technologies or different dating apps, and yet they’re choosing me.”

AI can be a useful tool in screening large pools of potential matches, but it can’t replace the nuanced understanding that comes from a live matchmaker. The deeper emotional intelligence, tailored coaching, and real-time feedback I offer are what help my clients truly connect with someone on a meaningful level.

I want to again thank The San Francisco Standard for highlighting the work I do at Linx Dating and for shedding light on the complexities of matchmaking in this incredible city. The stories shared by my clients and the insights gained over the years continue to remind me of how rewarding this work truly is. It’s not just about finding someone to date—it’s about helping people find real, lasting connection in a world where time is scarce and privacy is priceless.

To read the article from The San Francisco Standard click here: https://sfstandard.com/2025/03/29/silicon-valley-matchmakers-bay-area/