Shared Rituals of Connection: The Invisible Threads That Make Love Last

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In a culture that glorifies grand romantic gestures and once-in-a-lifetime stories, we often overlook what actually makes relationships last: the small things, done consistently.

These are what Dr. John Gottman calls “rituals of connection.” And in decades of studying thousands of couples, he found that these small shared behaviors—like asking how your partner’s day was or saying goodnight with affection—can mean the difference between lasting love and growing apart.

At Linx Dating, we coach clients to look beyond attraction and chemistry and into compatibility and ritual potential. Because you’re not just looking for a partner—you’re building a shared rhythm, a life, and a language of intimacy.

Why Rituals Matter

In Gottman’s research, happy couples responded to their partner’s emotional “bids” (attempts to connect) 86% of the time, while unhappy couples only responded 33% of the time.
What does this look like in real life?

• A “good morning” text that starts the day with connection

• A weekly walk that invites open dialogue

• Laughing at an old joke only the two of you understand

• A shared playlist

• That soft touch before falling asleep

These aren't just habits. They're tiny commitments to the relationship—daily reminders that say, I'm here, I'm listening, and I choose you again.

This Week’s 5 Rituals to Reflect On:

1. The Morning Signal – A greeting that says “you matter to me, first thing.”

2. The Micro Check-In – A short conversation that invites emotional presence.

3. The Joy Anchor – A hobby or habit that makes your connection playful and personal.

4. The Return Home – A daily reconnection that restores your bond after time apart.

5. The Goodnight Ritual – A tender close to the day that signals safety and love.

Whether you’re dating or years into a committed partnership, these rituals create emotional scaffolding. They make the relationship feel held.

The Linx Lens

At Linx, we don’t just pair impressive people—we help them build relationships that stand the test of time. We believe the future of love isn’t based on spark alone. It’s built on structure, practice, and shared intention.

This week, we invite you to notice:

• What rituals do you and your partner already have?

• Which ones could you intentionally start?

• And what small act could be your love language in motion?

Because love doesn’t live in words alone—it lives in what we do, over and over again.

Character Is Sexy. Standards Are Everything.

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In both love and leadership, character is the foundation.

It’s what sustains trust when charm fades. It’s what keeps you anchored when things get hard. And it’s what separates surface-level connection from something truly lasting.

Recently, I had the opportunity to hear General Stan McChrystal speak at Stanford. His message—rooted in decades of leadership and service—was clear: True character isn’t about being perfect. It’s about how we lead ourselves when no one is watching.

In his book On Character, McChrystal challenges us to push beyond performance and polish. He urges us to lead with moral clarity and personal accountability—to stop outsourcing responsibility and start living by the standards we claim to value.

The best leaders—and the best partners—lead with humility, conviction, and values that don’t waver under pressure.

And no one modeled this more fully than Abraham Lincoln.
He didn’t chase popularity.
He didn’t adapt to please the crowd.
He stood for principle.
He led with clarity, calm, and deep moral responsibility.

That same energy belongs in your dating life.

If you want someone of high character, start by being someone of high character.

That means:

• No more waiting for the “right” person to show up.

• No more blaming timing, apps, or ghosting.

• No more lowering your standards to feel chosen.

You have agency. You are not stuck.
You are in charge of who you choose, what you allow, and how you show up.

The moment everything changes is the moment you accept full responsibility—not just for your outcomes, but for your energy, your effort, and your standards.

Don’t chase chemistry. Choose character.

Don’t hope for integrity. Require it.

Don’t wish for connection. Build it—with someone who’s done the work, too.

Ask yourself: What am I choosing in love right now? And more importantly… who am I becoming?

Because in dating—just like in life—you don’t get what you want.
You get what you’re willing to walk toward with courage, clarity, and intention.

The Hidden Currency of Relationships: Communicating What Matters

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In Debora Spar’s insightful article “Some Things Are Sacred: How Economics Can Help Us Protect What Matters,” she points out something we don’t talk about enough in dating: relationships often break down not because people don’t care, but because they never clearly communicated what they value.

At Linx, I see this play out constantly—even among the most self-aware, successful individuals. Spar calls these deeply human experiences “sacred goods”—things like emotional safety, loyalty, respect, and affection. These are priceless to us, but they don’t come with a visible price tag. We assume others should just know how much they matter, but without clarity, even the most well-intentioned relationships can fall apart.

Spar argues that if these sacred goods really are so essential, we need to get better at understanding and expressing what they mean to us—and to the people we love. In traditional markets, we’re taught to state value clearly. In dating? We often expect mind-reading. We downplay our needs, sugarcoat our wants, or try to be "low maintenance," only to feel unseen or misunderstood later.

That’s why one of the most important things we do at Linx is help clients get radically clear. Clear on who they are, what they’re looking for, and what they're ready to offer in return. This kind of communication isn’t just about compatibility, it’s about alignment. It’s one thing to say you want a relationship. It’s another to say, “I want to build a life with someone who prioritizes emotional depth, shared goals, and openness.” The difference isn’t subtle. It’s transformational.

We also talk a lot about emotional reciprocity. Spar notes that sacred exchanges are mutual—they require both parties to invest. If one person is doing all the emotional "producing" and the other is just receiving, things will eventually collapse. Whether it’s making plans, initiating vulnerability, or expressing appreciation, the healthiest couples understand that value flows both ways. If it doesn’t, it’s not sacred. It’s one-sided.

This is why I stress that matchmaking isn’t just about introductions. It’s also about giving people the tools to navigate the emotional economy of modern relationships: how to articulate your needs, how to listen, how to show up, and how to ask for more without guilt or fear.

So often, we’re taught that romance should just “happen,” that the right person will intuit everything we need. But the reality is, meaningful connection—just like any high-value good—requires clarity, intention, and mutual effort.

At Linx, we believe your emotional life deserves the same respect you give to your career or finances. Because when you’re clear on your value and willing to communicate it, the right person doesn’t just hear you—they recognize you.

Master “Cobbler” of Connections: Curated Matchmaking for High-Achievers

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Matchmaking is one of humanity’s oldest traditions—long before swipes and algorithms, there were trusted matchmakers - the expert “cobblers” of connection. Like a skilled cobbler who knows every shoe’s story and carefully mends and shapes each pair to ensure a perfect fit, matchmaking has always been a craft requiring patience, intuition, and deep personal knowledge.

At Linx Dating, this timeless tradition is alive and thriving. For over 20 years, we’ve dedicated ourselves to working with a very small, elite group of high-achieving individuals—primarily Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, investors, executives, and creatives—helping them find relationships that truly fit their lives and aspirations.

What sets Linx apart is the intensely personal, hands-on approach I bring to every step. I personally review each and every application that comes through our network. Not only do I hand-input all the data myself (a laborious process that few take on in today’s automated world), but I also personally respond to every applicant. This level of care and attention is simply unheard of in today’s matchmaking landscape.

Why go to such lengths? Because understanding every nuance—the stories, values, hopes, and even the fears—behind each client is essential to creating introductions that matter. This painstaking work is how I identify connections that others (including a lot of technologies as well) miss. It’s why our clients trust Linx with some of the most important decisions of their lives.

Linx Dating is neither about volume, nor about relying on technology to do the heavy lifting. It’s about real human connection, absolute discretion, and the artful craft of matching people with intention and care.

For those who expect excellence in every area of life, Linx is a trusted partner for finding love that fits.

Dating With Emotional ROI: Why Stability Beats Drama Every Time

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Dating Is a High-Stakes Game—Play It Like a Smart Investor
In Silicon Valley, decisions are rarely impulsive. Investors vet founders, analyze risk, and seek sustainable growth before writing a single check. Why? Because resources are finite—and return on investment matters.

Dating, too, is a form of high-stakes investing. You're choosing who gets your time, your energy, your heart. But while many people are intentional with their portfolios, they’re often reckless with their relationships. They confuse intensity for intimacy, unpredictability for chemistry, and drama for passion.

Let’s flip that narrative.

If you want a relationship that grows, compounds, and adds lasting value to your life—start dating like a smart investor. Here’s how:

1. Know Your Valuation

In the venture world, valuation reflects potential, traction, and market fit. In dating, your "value" stems from how you carry yourself: your confidence, emotional intelligence, boundaries, and the life you’ve built.
If you don’t know your worth, others will undervalue you. And if you discount yourself, the wrong people will try to buy in at a bargain. Don’t accept a low offer just because the market feels slow.

2. Avoid the Sunk Cost Fallacy

Investors cut ties when a business isn’t delivering. In dating, clinging to someone just because you’ve "already put in so much" is emotional dead weight.
Time invested doesn’t justify staying in a relationship that’s not evolving. Let go of what isn’t scaling. Reinvest in something with real growth potential.

3. Prioritize Emotional Liquidity

A partner who is emotionally unavailable is like a startup with no cash flow—burning through resources and always in crisis mode.
Healthy relationships require reciprocity, presence, and emotional bandwidth. If your love is always in limbo or one-sided, it’s time to audit that investment.

4. Don’t Mistake Volatility for Value

This is where many people get hooked: the highs are intoxicating, the lows are devastating—and it feels real.
But in reality? That’s emotional whiplash, not intimacy. A truly high-value relationship won’t destabilize you. It won’t require constant repair. It will compound quietly, deepening over time. Stability is the new sexy.

In both business and love, it’s not about short-term spikes—it’s about sustained growth. Be as strategic with your heart as you are with your career. Your emotional ROI depends on it.