5 Types of People to Walk Away From in Dating

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In my two decades as a professional matchmaker, I’ve learned that people show you who they are very early in dating. The challenge is that when we’re hopeful, lonely, or dazzled by chemistry, it’s easy to ignore those early signs. But clarity at the beginning is one of the most powerful tools you have.

Here are five types of people I advise my clients to walk away from—and how to handle it if you find yourself already caught in the dynamic.

1. The Love Bomber

Lavish gifts, over-the-top affection, and declarations of love after just a date or two can feel intoxicating. But love bombing isn’t about building intimacy—it’s about fast-tracking trust so they can get what they want. It often signals insecurity, immaturity, or even manipulation.

Action Step: Slow the pace. Opt for grounded, simple dates and see how they respond. If they respect your boundaries, that’s healthy. If they pressure or guilt you, that’s a red flag.

2. The Breadcrumb Giver

They send a steady drip of attention—texts, compliments, vague plans—but never follow through. It’s just enough to keep you emotionally invested, but not enough to create real momentum.

Action Step: Be direct. Try: “I’m looking for someone who prioritizes meeting in person. If that’s not you, I wish you well.” Clear communication either prompts action—or reveals their lack of seriousness.

3. The Egotist

Conversations revolve around them—their career, their stress, their stories. At first, you may find their confidence appealing, but over time you’ll realize there’s no space for your voice.

Action Step: Redirect. Ask: “What would you like to know about me?” If they consistently deflect or minimize your experiences, you’re not dealing with a partner—you’re dealing with a performer.

4. The Window Shopper

They flirt, they date, and they enjoy companionship, but when it comes time to commit, they stall. You’ll always feel like you’re on display but never chosen.

Action Step: Clarify intentions. Ask: “What are you truly looking for right now?” If their answer is vague or evasive, trust it. Don’t keep yourself “on the shelf” for someone who doesn’t have the courage to choose you.

5. The Houdini

One day they’re all in, the next day they vanish without a trace—only to reappear later with a casual “Hey, how’ve you been?” This inconsistency isn’t a mystery to solve; it’s immaturity and lack of readiness.

Action Step: Address it head-on. Say: “Consistency matters to me. If you can’t communicate regularly, I don’t think this is a fit.” The right partner will step up. The wrong one will fade—and that’s your answer.

Final Thought

Dating should feel clear, kind, and reciprocal. The wrong people will drain your energy with mixed signals, ego-driven behavior, or half-hearted investment. The right person will bring consistency, ease, and emotional safety.

At Linx Dating, I remind my clients that walking away sooner isn’t failure—it’s discernment. Every “no” clears space for the right “yes.”

From Heartbreak to Happily Ever After: How Linx Was Born

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Most people don’t look back on heartbreak with gratitude. But in my case, a painful breakup became the unlikely spark that launched my life’s calling.

In the early 2000s, I was living in San Francisco when I met someone at a networking event. Our relationship drew me down to Silicon Valley—a part of the Bay Area I hadn’t explored growing up in Mill Valley. What I found surprised me: a social ecosystem unlike anything I had ever seen.

There was an abundance of eligible, accomplished men… and yet, a shortage of women in the same circles. His friends would quietly (and sometimes not so quietly) ask me to set them up. Meanwhile, my girlfriends in San Francisco lamented how impossible it felt to meet decent, available men. It was as if the puzzle pieces were scattered across two cities but no one was putting them together. That’s when the lightbulb went off: what if I bridged the gap?

From Connector to Cupid

Matchmaking wasn’t such a leap. I had always been the connector type—the person who instinctively knew which two people should meet. With a degree in communications from USC, some early career chapters in PR and finance, and a natural entrepreneurial streak, I realized I could channel my instincts into something much bigger.

In 2003, I officially launched Linx Dating. The name was simple yet symbolic: linking two people together, with the “x” serving as both a hug and a nod to Silicon Valley’s precision. What started with a few referrals grew organically into a curated community of some of the most extraordinary people in the Bay Area—and eventually, the world.

A Different Kind of Matchmaking

Forget the clichés of old-world yentas. Linx was never about volume or gimmicks—it was about discernment. My clients are brilliant, high-achieving individuals: startup founders, professors, C-suite executives, even international royalty. They excel in their careers but often feel frustrated when it comes to love.

Through personal interviews, guided reflection, and yes, plenty of “homework,” I work with each client to define the core DNA of what makes a lasting partnership. In the early days, I leaned on scientific assessments; now, after thousands of meetings and two decades of experience, I know that chemistry, intuition, and timing matter just as much. I often say 85% of what I do is intuition—fine-tuned from years of listening deeply, observing patterns, and sensing when two people are truly aligned. 

Walking the Walk

Of course, being a matchmaker didn’t mean my own love story came easily. My single years unfolded long before dating apps like Bumble or Hinge. Back then, I was putting myself on Match.com, Yahoo Personals, and eHarmony. Obviously, I was never going to date my clients, which made things even more challenging. And for me—as a single founder and strong woman—many men were not comfortable with the idea of me running my own business, particularly as a professional matchmaker.

It was a very challenging journey. Ultimately, I decided to move from San Francisco back to Palo Alto, because I felt the community and lifestyle there would better serve me in finding my future husband. And I was right.

Serendipity struck when a friend set me up on a blind date with the man who would become my husband. That first date lasted nine hours. ;-)  At the end of the night, he walked me back to my little apartment on Forest Avenue in Palo Alto and said he wanted to see me again—the very next day. Sure enough, we had our second date right away, and from then on, we were essentially exclusive. It was just right. Nine months later, he proposed. Today we share a beautiful marriage and a son. My own story reminds me—and my clients—that when it’s right, it truly is right.

Love, Curated

Today, I continue to do what I love most: helping extraordinary men and women find each other. Linx offers different membership tiers, from entry-level to highly bespoke VIP engagements that involve exhaustive searches across the globe. But regardless of tier, I remind everyone of one truth: matchmaking is not about guarantees, it’s about increasing the probability of love.

And many times, for the lucky few I get to call my clients, love arrives through Linx. What matters most is keeping an open heart and putting in the effort.

If there’s one final piece of advice I can offer, it’s this: don’t judge too quickly. Slow down. Pay attention. Give the person in front of you the chance to surprise you. Every experience—every heartbreak, every near miss, every false start—is a stepping stone that brings you closer to the relationship you truly deserve.

That, in essence, is the mission of Linx: to remind you that love isn’t a matter of luck. It’s a matter of courage, clarity, and connection.

Dating Is a Tango: The Art of Rhythm, Tension, and True Connection

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

There’s a quiet magnetism in watching two people tango. Their bodies move with purpose—close, then apart, never chaotic, always in conversation. The most beautiful moments aren’t choreographed—they’re felt. Just like dating at its best.

At Linx, we believe dating isn’t something to power through or solve. It’s something to experience, much like a dance. This week, we’re exploring how the tango offers a perfect metaphor for building a meaningful connection—and what it teaches us about reciprocity, chemistry, and emotional presence.

Set the Frame: Know Who You Are Before You Step In

In tango, the “frame” is everything. It’s your posture, your balance, your readiness to connect. In dating, your frame is your self-worth.

If you don’t know your values, what lights you up, or where you draw the line—how can anyone dance with you? The most successful relationships start with someone who’s deeply grounded. Confidence isn’t arrogance; it’s emotional alignment.

Ask yourself: What do I stand for in love? What’s a dealbreaker—not because it’s a preference, but because it violates who I am?

Learn to Lead… and to Follow

Modern daters often feel unsure of how much to initiate or when to lean back. The tango reminds us: it’s not about who leads all the time—it’s about responsiveness.

Powerful daters know how to show interest without losing mystery. They take the lead when it counts—and just as importantly, they make space for the other person to rise, initiate, and reveal. A relationship built only on your effort is a monologue. Great relationships are duets.

Let the Tension Build

In tango, it’s not constant closeness that creates intensity—it’s the space in between. The step apart. The eye contact that lingers. The restraint.

We live in a culture addicted to instant answers and “closure.” But some of the most electric moments in dating come from the unknown: the slow burn of curiosity, the silence before the kiss, the pause that says more than words.

If you rush to fill the gaps, you miss the beauty of anticipation. Let tension exist. Let it build. That’s where real chemistry is born.

Don’t Dance Alone

Tango doesn’t work if only one partner is moving. The same is true for dating. If you're doing all the reaching out, all the planning, all the emotional labor—you’re not in a relationship. You’re in a performance.

Healthy love is reciprocal. It’s built on mutual investment, attention, and vulnerability. If you feel like you're always leading while your partner stays still, ask yourself: is this really a dance, or am I on stage alone?

When It’s Right, It Feels Like Flow

The best part of tango is when both people surrender to the rhythm. They're not calculating every move—they're feeling it. They’re attuned, alive, and present.

When dating flows, it doesn’t mean it's effortless. It means you’re with someone who matches your energy, your curiosity, your openness. That’s when dating stops feeling like effort—and starts feeling like art.

When He’s Not Taking It to the Next Level: Why You Can’t Wait Forever

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

You’ve invested your heart.
You’ve made space in your life.
You’ve been patient. Understanding. Loyal.

But still—he hasn’t made a move.

Not toward exclusivity.
Not toward engagement.
Or worse… he proposed, and now the engagement lingers indefinitely.

At Linx, we work with exceptional women—smart, successful, emotionally generous—who want to build lives with someone extraordinary. And far too often, we meet them after they’ve spent months… even years… waiting for a man to “be ready.”

Here’s the truth: you can’t build a future with someone stuck in the pause.

1. If It Feels Like Limbo, It Is

A relationship should feel like forward motion—not a holding pattern. If you’re constantly wondering when he’ll step up, commit, or get serious, chances are… he won’t. Not because you aren’t worthy, but because he isn’t ready. Or worse, he’s comfortable—right where things are.

2. Words Are Easy. Watch His Pattern.

He says he wants a future. He talks about “someday.” But when it comes time to make plans, take steps, or define the relationship—he freezes.

A man’s actions tell you everything. If his pattern is avoidance, deflection, or procrastination, then you’re not his priority. You’re his safety net.

3. Engaged… But Not Advancing? That’s a Message.

We often romanticize engagements—but forget they’re meant to lead somewhere. If a man proposes but then resists planning, avoids conversations about marriage, or seems indifferent to timelines… that’s not “taking things slow.” That’s avoidance wrapped in sentiment.

You’re not “pressuring” someone by wanting to move forward. You’re honoring your life.

4. He’s Not Confused. He’s Comfortable.

This is the hardest truth:
A man who truly wants to be with you will not stay confused for years.

“Not ready” often translates to “not willing to change.”
And as long as you continue to give him everything—your support, your time, your heart—without requiring him to meet you where you are, he’ll stay comfortable. Because comfort costs him nothing.

5. You’re Not Asking for Too Much. You’re Asking the Wrong Person.

There is nothing unreasonable about wanting commitment, momentum, or clarity.
There is nothing “difficult” about setting standards.

The right man will feel inspired by your vision—not threatened.
The right man will move forward—not drag his feet.

Final Thought: You Can Leave the Waiting Room

The next level doesn’t come from nudging, begging, or outlasting his doubts. It comes from choosing yourself. From honoring your time, your value, and your desire to build a life that moves with intention.

If he won’t meet you there, step out of the waiting room.

Because the right partner?
He’s not hesitant.
He’s ready—and already walking your way.

Love Is Sacred: Why Market Principles Matter in Modern Dating

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

At Linx, we work with some of the most successful, driven individuals in the world—people who have built companies, shaped industries, and achieved remarkable things. But when it comes to love, even the most accomplished people often find themselves stuck. Not because they’re unworthy of love, but because love doesn’t operate like the other areas of their life. It can’t be optimized, rushed, or hacked.

Love, connection, trust, and emotional safety are what economist Debora Spar refers to as “sacred goods.” These are experiences we crave but unlike most goods, they can’t be bought or sold. Still, they behave like market items: demand is high, supply is limited, and meaningful exchanges are required to access them.

This framework deeply reflects what we see at Linx. When emotional needs go unmet, it’s often not about the individual—it’s about mismatched environments. You might be ready for intimacy but surrounded by people who aren’t. You may want long-term commitment but are dating in a culture that rewards novelty and speed. Part of what we do is correct that imbalance. We introduce our clients to people who are not only aligned in values and timing, but also emotionally ready for something real.

And real relationships require clarity. In Spar’s research, she highlights how sacred exchanges fall apart when communication breaks down—when people assume their partner should “just know” what matters. In our work, we see this all the time: two great people, both well-meaning, missing each other because they’re not communicating their needs, expectations, or emotional values clearly enough. That’s why coaching is so central to our process. We help clients name what they want, understand what they need, and recognize the signs of healthy alignment.

It’s also why we’re deeply intentional about how we operate. You can’t incentivize sacred goods with money. You can’t swipe your way to depth. But you can invest in a structure that protects what matters. At Linx, we’ve built that structure. We prioritize discretion, curation, and emotional investment. We meet every client personally. We listen. We guide. And we make matches with a level of care that honors the emotional weight of what’s at stake.

There’s a reason we don’t rely on algorithms or mass marketing. We believe the most meaningful relationships come from thoughtful, human-led connections—ones that are rooted in trust, not trends.

Because love isn’t casual. It’s sacred. And the people who find it are the ones willing to treat it that way.