The Hidden Currency of Relationships: Communicating What Matters

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In Debora Spar’s insightful article “Some Things Are Sacred: How Economics Can Help Us Protect What Matters,” she points out something we don’t talk about enough in dating: relationships often break down not because people don’t care, but because they never clearly communicated what they value.

At Linx, I see this play out constantly—even among the most self-aware, successful individuals. Spar calls these deeply human experiences “sacred goods”—things like emotional safety, loyalty, respect, and affection. These are priceless to us, but they don’t come with a visible price tag. We assume others should just know how much they matter, but without clarity, even the most well-intentioned relationships can fall apart.

Spar argues that if these sacred goods really are so essential, we need to get better at understanding and expressing what they mean to us—and to the people we love. In traditional markets, we’re taught to state value clearly. In dating? We often expect mind-reading. We downplay our needs, sugarcoat our wants, or try to be "low maintenance," only to feel unseen or misunderstood later.

That’s why one of the most important things we do at Linx is help clients get radically clear. Clear on who they are, what they’re looking for, and what they're ready to offer in return. This kind of communication isn’t just about compatibility, it’s about alignment. It’s one thing to say you want a relationship. It’s another to say, “I want to build a life with someone who prioritizes emotional depth, shared goals, and openness.” The difference isn’t subtle. It’s transformational.

We also talk a lot about emotional reciprocity. Spar notes that sacred exchanges are mutual—they require both parties to invest. If one person is doing all the emotional "producing" and the other is just receiving, things will eventually collapse. Whether it’s making plans, initiating vulnerability, or expressing appreciation, the healthiest couples understand that value flows both ways. If it doesn’t, it’s not sacred. It’s one-sided.

This is why I stress that matchmaking isn’t just about introductions. It’s also about giving people the tools to navigate the emotional economy of modern relationships: how to articulate your needs, how to listen, how to show up, and how to ask for more without guilt or fear.

So often, we’re taught that romance should just “happen,” that the right person will intuit everything we need. But the reality is, meaningful connection—just like any high-value good—requires clarity, intention, and mutual effort.

At Linx, we believe your emotional life deserves the same respect you give to your career or finances. Because when you’re clear on your value and willing to communicate it, the right person doesn’t just hear you—they recognize you.

Master “Cobbler” of Connections: Curated Matchmaking for High-Achievers

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Matchmaking is one of humanity’s oldest traditions—long before swipes and algorithms, there were trusted matchmakers - the expert “cobblers” of connection. Like a skilled cobbler who knows every shoe’s story and carefully mends and shapes each pair to ensure a perfect fit, matchmaking has always been a craft requiring patience, intuition, and deep personal knowledge.

At Linx Dating, this timeless tradition is alive and thriving. For over 20 years, we’ve dedicated ourselves to working with a very small, elite group of high-achieving individuals—primarily Silicon Valley entrepreneurs, investors, executives, and creatives—helping them find relationships that truly fit their lives and aspirations.

What sets Linx apart is the intensely personal, hands-on approach I bring to every step. I personally review each and every application that comes through our network. Not only do I hand-input all the data myself (a laborious process that few take on in today’s automated world), but I also personally respond to every applicant. This level of care and attention is simply unheard of in today’s matchmaking landscape.

Why go to such lengths? Because understanding every nuance—the stories, values, hopes, and even the fears—behind each client is essential to creating introductions that matter. This painstaking work is how I identify connections that others (including a lot of technologies as well) miss. It’s why our clients trust Linx with some of the most important decisions of their lives.

Linx Dating is neither about volume, nor about relying on technology to do the heavy lifting. It’s about real human connection, absolute discretion, and the artful craft of matching people with intention and care.

For those who expect excellence in every area of life, Linx is a trusted partner for finding love that fits.

Navigating the “Are You Divorced?” Question During Separation

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

At Linx Dating, we coach our clients through some of the most nuanced aspects of modern dating—including those emotionally loaded, often unexpected questions that can leave someone feeling unprepared or exposed.

One such moment just happened to a female client of ours. She’s navigating a high-profile divorce, emotionally and romantically long removed from her marriage, yet still in the thick of legal and financial finalization. During a date with a man who got divorced many years ago, he gently asked, “Are you actually divorced?”

While likely innocent in intention, the question landed like a punch. She wasn’t expecting it. It felt vulnerable and intrusive. And she didn’t know how to answer without sounding defensive or insecure.

Here’s the truth: In states like California, where the divorce process can be particularly complex and prolonged due to financial or custody matters, “divorced” isn’t always a black-and-white status. You can be emotionally done, romantically detached, and building a completely new life—and yet, still be technically “married” on paper.

So what do you do when someone asks, and your answer is more transitional than final?

Here are three ways to handle the “Are you divorced?” question with confidence and grace:

1. Lead with Clarity, Not Shame

You don’t need to apologize for being in transition. Instead, lead with emotional truth and firm boundaries.

“I’m in the final stages of my divorce. While the paperwork is still being finalized, the relationship has been over for quite some time. I’m clear, open, and emotionally available for the right person.”

By naming where you are with clarity, you communicate emotional availability without needing to defend your timeline.

2. Read the Intention Behind the Question

Sometimes this question is rooted in curiosity or a desire to understand, not judgment. For example, a widow may see divorce as uncharted territory and want to better understand your experience.

Instead of reacting, pause and ask yourself: “Is this person trying to disqualify me—or are they just trying to understand me?”

That subtle mindset shift can move you from feeling exposed to feeling empowered.

3. Redirect to Shared Values

If the conversation starts to veer into uncomfortable territory, gently redirect the conversation to shared values or future-oriented dialogue.

“The paperwork is in process, but what matters most to me is creating something new with someone I deeply respect and connect with. I’m excited about what’s next.”

This frames your response not around the past—but around who you are today and what you’re building.

Dating is vulnerable. Full stop.

And transitional periods—like separation or divorce—can bring even more layers of sensitivity, especially for high-profile individuals. What matters most is not defending your status, but owning your story. It’s okay to still be in progress and to date while in that space—so long as you’re honest with yourself and your matches about your availability and readiness.

At Linx, we champion our clients through these nuanced spaces, helping them stay grounded, confident, and emotionally agile—no matter the question.

Dating With Emotional ROI: Why Stability Beats Drama Every Time

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Dating Is a High-Stakes Game—Play It Like a Smart Investor
In Silicon Valley, decisions are rarely impulsive. Investors vet founders, analyze risk, and seek sustainable growth before writing a single check. Why? Because resources are finite—and return on investment matters.

Dating, too, is a form of high-stakes investing. You're choosing who gets your time, your energy, your heart. But while many people are intentional with their portfolios, they’re often reckless with their relationships. They confuse intensity for intimacy, unpredictability for chemistry, and drama for passion.

Let’s flip that narrative.

If you want a relationship that grows, compounds, and adds lasting value to your life—start dating like a smart investor. Here’s how:

1. Know Your Valuation

In the venture world, valuation reflects potential, traction, and market fit. In dating, your "value" stems from how you carry yourself: your confidence, emotional intelligence, boundaries, and the life you’ve built.
If you don’t know your worth, others will undervalue you. And if you discount yourself, the wrong people will try to buy in at a bargain. Don’t accept a low offer just because the market feels slow.

2. Avoid the Sunk Cost Fallacy

Investors cut ties when a business isn’t delivering. In dating, clinging to someone just because you’ve "already put in so much" is emotional dead weight.
Time invested doesn’t justify staying in a relationship that’s not evolving. Let go of what isn’t scaling. Reinvest in something with real growth potential.

3. Prioritize Emotional Liquidity

A partner who is emotionally unavailable is like a startup with no cash flow—burning through resources and always in crisis mode.
Healthy relationships require reciprocity, presence, and emotional bandwidth. If your love is always in limbo or one-sided, it’s time to audit that investment.

4. Don’t Mistake Volatility for Value

This is where many people get hooked: the highs are intoxicating, the lows are devastating—and it feels real.
But in reality? That’s emotional whiplash, not intimacy. A truly high-value relationship won’t destabilize you. It won’t require constant repair. It will compound quietly, deepening over time. Stability is the new sexy.

In both business and love, it’s not about short-term spikes—it’s about sustained growth. Be as strategic with your heart as you are with your career. Your emotional ROI depends on it. 

Startups Aren’t the Only Things Scaling in Silicon Valley—So Is Love

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In today’s fast-moving global economy, Silicon Valley stands as more than a beacon of innovation—it’s a magnetic hub of influence, culture, and connection. It's where the world’s most visionary minds come not only to launch billion-dollar ideas but increasingly, to build something just as powerful: a deeply meaningful personal life.

At Linx Dating, we’ve long believed that love and leadership are not mutually exclusive—in fact, the most enduring relationships are often built on the same foundation as the most successful ventures: intention, integrity, and alignment.

Silicon Valley: More Than Just a Tech Capital

This region attracts some of the brightest and most entrepreneurial minds on the planet. Executives, engineers, founders, and financiers from across the globe come here with bold ideas and bold ambitions. But alongside the pursuit of innovation lies a quieter, more personal question:

How do I create a love life that’s just as intentional as my career?

That’s where Linx comes in.

The Global Appeal of Linx Dating

Our clientele isn’t just local—it’s deeply global. From Singapore to Stockholm, Dubai to Dublin, individuals seek us out because they want a partner who truly understands their world. They’re not swiping on apps or chasing superficial chemistry. They’re looking for someone who aligns with their values, mirrors their ambition, and thrives within the rarefied orbit they inhabit.

At Linx, we specialize in connecting high-caliber individuals across borders and cultures—always with discretion, precision, and a personal touch that technology alone can never provide.

Why Silicon Valley Matters in Love

What makes Silicon Valley unique isn’t just the innovation—it’s the ethos. There’s a quiet confidence here. An emphasis on intellect over ego. A preference for substance over flash. These qualities make the region not just a powerhouse in business, but also a deeply fertile ground for authentic, lasting connection.

Our approach at Linx goes far beyond lifestyle matching. We look for alignment in mindset, ambition, values, and emotional compatibility. Our clients aren’t just looking for companionship—they’re looking for a true equal. A confidant. A co-architect of their life.

A Global Perspective, A Local Legacy

While we’re proudly rooted in the heart of Silicon Valley, Linx operates with a truly global perspective. Many of our clients lead complex lives: they travel frequently, they live bi-coastally or internationally, and they carry immense personal and professional responsibilities. They need a matchmaking partner who understands nuance, respects privacy, and meets them at their level.

And most importantly, they want to be seen—not just for their achievements, but for the human being behind the résumé.

Silicon Valley isn’t just shaping the future of technology—it’s shaping the future of relationships.

At Linx Dating, we’re honored to be at the intersection of commerce, culture, and connection, serving a global community of exceptional individuals seeking exceptional love.

Because even the most brilliant minds deserve brilliant love.