Growth Mindset

The Power of Why: Reclaiming Curiosity in Love

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Children are insatiably curious. They move through life with an endless stream of questions: Why is the sky blue? Why do birds fly? Why can’t I have dessert first? Asking why is their way of learning, connecting, and making sense of the world.

As adults, most of us stop asking. We fall into routines, make assumptions, or fear the answers might be uncomfortable. But curiosity isn’t childish — it’s essential. In fact, asking why is one of the most powerful tools we have for growth, connection, and clarity.

In leadership, why drives innovation. It helps us uncover the root cause of a challenge, test the integrity of a strategy, and push past surface-level solutions. The leaders and organizations that thrive are the ones who keep asking.

In relationships, why is just as transformative. Why do I want a partner? Why did a past relationship succeed — or fail? Why do I struggle with vulnerability? Why do I chase certain dreams? Why do little moments matter so much?

When we dare to ask these questions, we illuminate the truth of what we value and how we connect. Why prevents us from repeating old patterns, strengthens our self-awareness, and opens us to deeper intimacy.

At Linx Dating, I encourage clients to reclaim their curiosity. Love isn’t about checking boxes or rushing to outcomes — it’s about asking the right questions along the way. When we embrace the power of why, we expand our horizons, align with our authentic values, and create the space for meaningful connection.

So I’ll leave you with this: What’s a why you’ve been asking yourself lately?

Because sometimes the smallest question leads to the biggest discoveries.

Can You Keep Up? Dating Someone Who Lives in Motion

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

There’s a particular kind of person you might come across in the world of modern dating.
They’re not waiting for life to happen. They’re already out there living it.

Always learning. Always exploring. Always in motion.

They’re the ones who book the next trip before they’ve unpacked from the last one.
Who read voraciously, take care of their minds and bodies, and view curiosity not as a phase—but as a way of life.

They’re magnetic, high-energy, and full of momentum.
But dating someone like this? It’s not for the faint of heart.

This week at Linx, we’re reflecting on what it means to be—or date—a person like this. Because while the energy may be exciting, compatibility requires more than just admiration. It requires alignment.

Let’s break it down:

They lead with curiosity.

This person asks questions that don’t come with easy answers. They’re always trying to understand more—about the world, about others, and about themselves.

They’re a match for someone who:
– Enjoys thoughtful dialogue
– Can share ideas and challenge perspectives
– Isn’t defensive when asked to go deeper

They’re not a match for someone who:
– Gets bored easily in conversation
– Finds big questions exhausting
– Feels uncomfortable without certainty

They live in motion.

Stillness is beautiful, but for them, movement is joy. They don’t seek busyness—they seek momentum. Whether it’s a business goal, a hike, or a new hobby, they’re in constant creation.

They’re a match for someone who:
– Brings initiative to their own life
– Finds energy in doing and exploring
– Sees their pace as a shared rhythm

They’re not a match for someone who:
– Feels anxious without predictability
– Prefers a routine-centered relationship
– Expects a partner to slow down to feel “secure”

They prioritize self-care.

This kind of person protects their peace. They may have early mornings, specific rituals, or structured weeks. But their discipline is part of their glow—it’s how they stay balanced.

They’re a match for someone who:
– Values boundaries and independence
– Doesn’t confuse structure with distance
– Appreciates wellness and consistency

They’re not a match for someone who:
– Expects constant availability
– Finds routines controlling
– Takes alone time personally

They are wired for discovery.

New cultures, new restaurants, new experiences. For them, adventure isn’t a break from life—it is life. They are often planning their next chapter before others have finished the last.

They’re a match for someone who:
– Feels energized by change
– Is comfortable with spontaneity
– Sees travel as a shared love language

They’re not a match for someone who:
– Seeks safety in sameness
– Fears the unknown
– Prefers “settled” over “stimulated”

They are not for the faint of heart.

This person doesn’t need rescuing, taming, or molding. They don’t need to be completed—they want to be met. Emotionally, intellectually, energetically.

They can be intense—but it’s a generous intensity. And when met with the right kind of presence, the relationship is electric, expansive, and full of life.

The Bottom Line

Loving someone who lives in motion isn’t about “keeping up” in a performative way.
It’s about having your own inner momentum—your own curiosity, your own pace, your own growth.

Because when both people are moving forward in their own lives, that’s where real connection begins.
That’s where the journey gets interesting.
And that’s when love becomes not just a chapter—but an epic.

When Betrayal Breaks Your Lens: Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Betrayal in love has a way of distorting reality. It doesn’t just break your heart—it can quietly rewire your thinking. One day, you believe in the good in people. The next, you find yourself questioning everyone’s intentions. “What if they all cheat?” becomes a thought you can’t shake.

This isn’t uncommon. In fact, I’m working with a client right now who’s navigating this exact challenge. He’s a successful, thoughtful man. But after being cheated on, he’s developed a belief that women—all women—can’t be trusted. Layered into this pain are deeper insecurities about his height and ethnicity. As a shorter Asian man, he’s begun to fear that every woman he meets will eventually leave him for someone “taller, stronger, better.”

This spiral isn’t just about a breakup. It’s about identity, self-worth, and the stories we begin to tell ourselves in the aftermath of hurt.

The Danger of Generalization

When we experience trauma, especially in love, our brains naturally try to make sense of it. Unfortunately, they often land on sweeping generalizations:

  • “All women cheat.”

  • “No one will ever truly choose me.”

  • “I’m not enough unless I look a certain way.”

But here’s the truth: what happened to you is not the blueprint for what will always happen. The actions of one person—no matter how devastating—are not representative of an entire gender or future.

If you’ve been betrayed, it’s natural to become hypervigilant. But living in that space of constant suspicion blocks the very thing you ultimately want: connection.

Reframing the Inner Critic

Often, our inner critic weaponizes pain. Instead of saying, “That person made a hurtful choice,” it whispers, “You weren’t good enough. You’ll never be enough.” That voice is persuasive, and cruel.

But you don’t have to believe it.

Try this reframe:

  • Instead of “I must not be desirable,” try “Someone failed to see my value—and that’s on them.”

  • Instead of “I’ll always be left,” try “I deserve someone who sees me as their forever choice.”

You are not the exception. You are not “less than.” You are a human being worthy of love, loyalty, and security—just as you are.

Compassion as a Compass

It might sound simple, but the most radical act you can do after betrayal is to be kind to yourself.

That means allowing the hurt to breathe—but not letting it set up camp. It means noticing when you’re spiraling, and gently asking: “What am I afraid of? Is that fear rooted in fact—or old pain?”

Healing doesn’t mean throwing caution to the wind. It means learning to trust yourself again—your instincts, your intuition, your ability to spot healthy love and walk away from red flags.

Dating Smarter, Not Harder

As you rebuild, the goal isn’t to date from a place of fear—it’s to date from a place of clarity.

Yes, pay attention to character. Yes, observe consistency. Yes, ask real questions early on. But don’t interrogate someone today for the sins of someone from your past.

Instead, use this mindset:

  • “I’m open to love—but I won’t abandon myself for it.”

  • “I can move slowly, with curiosity, and still be brave.”

  • “I get to ask for what I need—and walk away if it’s not available.”

To the man reading this who thinks he has to be taller, richer, or someone else entirely to be loved: you are enough right now.

To the person who’s still haunted by betrayal: your pain is valid, but it is not your destiny.

You are not broken. You are becoming.

And the right partner? They won’t just tolerate your truth. They’ll treasure it.