Dating Lessons

Festina Lente: The Dating Wisdom of Making Haste Slowly

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In Silicon Valley, where speed is currency and innovation is measured in quarters, slowing down can feel counterintuitive. Yet over 2,000 years ago, the Roman emperor Augustus urged his people to adopt a paradoxical motto: Festina Lente — “make haste slowly.”

It’s an ancient reminder that forward motion and caution can — and must — coexist. In love and dating, this means embracing momentum with wisdom, while staying true to yourself.

The Lesson from Augustus
Augustus inherited a fractured Rome, yet he rebuilt it into an enduring empire. His guiding principle wasn’t impulsive expansion, but deliberate growth. Festina Lente meant pressing ahead with vision, but never at the expense of stability.

Dating wisdom:

  • Move forward. Try new experiences. Say yes to opportunities. Don’t let fear freeze you.

  • Do so wisely. Allow someone’s values and character to reveal themselves. Be mindful of red flags. Stay authentic — never compromise your core self for the sake of speed.

The Psychology Behind the Motto
Modern research echoes Augustus’s wisdom:

  • The Transition Rule (Kahneman & Tversky, 1979): People often overestimate the power of first impressions. Just as lottery winners return to baseline happiness, initial sparks don’t predict long-term fulfillment.

  • John Gottman’s “Sound Relationship House” (1999): Trust and love grow through turning toward each other consistently over time, not rushing into intensity.

  • Attachment Theory (Hazan & Shaver, 1987): Secure attachment develops at a steady pace — balancing forward motion with emotional safety.

  • “How Couples Meet and Stay Together” Study (Rosenfeld, Stanford, 2019): Couples who give relationships room to breathe — balancing quick starts with consistent growth — tend to form longer-lasting bonds.

Practical Homework

  1. Check your speed. Journal: are you moving too fast (exclusive by date #2), or too slow (texting endlessly without meeting)?

  2. Try one new thing. Choose an activity this week that nudges you forward (e.g., say yes to a date, attend a social event, update your profile).

  3. Pause with presence. On your next date, ask yourself: Am I being true to myself in this moment? Festina means courage; Lente means care. Together, they mean authentic wisdom in motion.


Life throws surprises. Love requires both momentum and mindfulness. Augustus knew empires weren’t built overnight — and neither are lasting relationships. Move boldly into love, but do so with wisdom, patience, and authenticity.

Dating With Emotional ROI: Why Stability Beats Drama Every Time

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Dating Is a High-Stakes Game—Play It Like a Smart Investor
In Silicon Valley, decisions are rarely impulsive. Investors vet founders, analyze risk, and seek sustainable growth before writing a single check. Why? Because resources are finite—and return on investment matters.

Dating, too, is a form of high-stakes investing. You're choosing who gets your time, your energy, your heart. But while many people are intentional with their portfolios, they’re often reckless with their relationships. They confuse intensity for intimacy, unpredictability for chemistry, and drama for passion.

Let’s flip that narrative.

If you want a relationship that grows, compounds, and adds lasting value to your life—start dating like a smart investor. Here’s how:

1. Know Your Valuation

In the venture world, valuation reflects potential, traction, and market fit. In dating, your "value" stems from how you carry yourself: your confidence, emotional intelligence, boundaries, and the life you’ve built.
If you don’t know your worth, others will undervalue you. And if you discount yourself, the wrong people will try to buy in at a bargain. Don’t accept a low offer just because the market feels slow.

2. Avoid the Sunk Cost Fallacy

Investors cut ties when a business isn’t delivering. In dating, clinging to someone just because you’ve "already put in so much" is emotional dead weight.
Time invested doesn’t justify staying in a relationship that’s not evolving. Let go of what isn’t scaling. Reinvest in something with real growth potential.

3. Prioritize Emotional Liquidity

A partner who is emotionally unavailable is like a startup with no cash flow—burning through resources and always in crisis mode.
Healthy relationships require reciprocity, presence, and emotional bandwidth. If your love is always in limbo or one-sided, it’s time to audit that investment.

4. Don’t Mistake Volatility for Value

This is where many people get hooked: the highs are intoxicating, the lows are devastating—and it feels real.
But in reality? That’s emotional whiplash, not intimacy. A truly high-value relationship won’t destabilize you. It won’t require constant repair. It will compound quietly, deepening over time. Stability is the new sexy.

In both business and love, it’s not about short-term spikes—it’s about sustained growth. Be as strategic with your heart as you are with your career. Your emotional ROI depends on it.