The Magnetic Power of Loving Your Life

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

In the world of modern dating, it’s easy to get caught up in strategy—what to say, when to text, how to present your best self. But if there’s one truth I’ve seen time and again in my years as a matchmaker, it’s this: the most attractive people are the ones who are genuinely excited about their lives.

Do something that sets your soul on fire.

This isn’t just feel-good advice—it’s a dating strategy in disguise. When you’re deeply engaged in a passion, whether it's launching a startup, training for a marathon, painting, cooking, or volunteering—something that makes you feel alive—you become magnetic. Your energy shifts. People feel it. They’re drawn to your vitality, your authenticity, your spark.

Too often, we treat dating as a separate sphere from the rest of life, like a side hustle we're supposed to "optimize." But your love life isn't a separate project. It grows from the same soil as everything else in your world. If you’re depleted, bored, or chasing someone else’s version of success, your relationships will reflect that. If you’re lit up, energized, and chasing your dreams? That radiance attracts people who want to join you for the ride.

This is why I always tell clients: focus on being deeply in love with your own life. When you’re firing on all cylinders, doing work that matters to you and surrounding yourself with people and environments that feed your spirit, your dating life doesn’t feel like a chore. You stop “performing” and start connecting. And that’s where the real magic happens.

The right relationship is not something to hunt down in desperation. It’s something you attract when you're truly living in alignment with your purpose.

So take the class. Start the business. Book the trip. Say yes to the dream that scares and excites you.

Because your future partner? They’re not looking for someone who’s perfect. They’re looking for someone who’s real. Someone who lights up the room—not by trying too hard, but by being fully, unapologetically alive.

Let the love you seek begin with the life you build.

The Spark That Started It All: How Linx Dating Was Born

It all began in the early 2000s, when I was working a day job in private wealth management in San Francisco.  Every day, I interacted with brilliant, accomplished professionals, many of whom were single and candid about their frustrations with the dating scene.

During an earlier stint living in Silicon Valley, I had been surrounded by brainiac, overachieving men—innovators, engineers, and leaders in tech. Meanwhile, up in San Francisco, I was meeting equally impressive professional women—dynamic, successful, and full of heart. And yet, despite how much each of these groups had to offer, both consistently lamented how difficult it was to meet truly compatible people.

That was my “aha!” moment.

There was a clear imbalance, and I saw the opportunity. What if I created a space where these exceptional individuals could connect with intention and ease?  Supply could meet demand, and suddenly, a market inefficiency could become relationship opportunities.  An idea had sprung.

From day one, my mission has been to be a strong "signal" amidst the "noise" of modern dating — cutting through the chaos to make meeting “the one” less onerous, and actually… fun.

So in 2003, I left finance and launched Linx Dating.  It started simply: coffee shop meetings, listening closely, and matchmaking by hand. But it grew quickly. Word spread, the network expanded and the network effect compounded, and soon Linx became a trusted, discreet service built on intuition, integrity, and real human connection.

Twenty-five years later, that initial spark has blossomed into something extraordinary—a thriving network of ambitious minds and open hearts.

If you’re curious to learn more or are ready to find your match, visit our website linxdating.com.

Putting Self-Care into Practice: A Personalized Guide

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Understanding self-care as a personal curriculum is one thing. Living it is another. Here are concrete steps to help you identify, refine, and implement the care practices that are most effective for you.

1. Start with a Self-Audit

Take 15–30 minutes to reflect on the following:

When do I feel most like myself?
What consistently drains me?
What reliably restores me?
When do I feel calm, clear, or at ease?
What do I need more of—and what do I need less of?

Write down your answers. Patterns will emerge. They are clues.

2. Track the “Noise”

For one week, note moments when you feel agitated, foggy, overstimulated, or withdrawn. Then ask:

What preceded this feeling?
Was I hungry, overcommitted, overstimulated, or isolated?
Did I bypass a need (rest, food, quiet, connection)?

This process helps you understand your signals and what causes them.

3. Design Your Self-Care Menu

Using your insights, create a personalized self-care menu with three categories:

Daily Needs
Examples: 8 hours of sleep, 10 minutes of sunlight, a short walk, uninterrupted time alone.

Weekly Needs
Examples: creative time, therapy, dinner with a friend, decluttering a space.

Emergency Tools
Examples: “I’m overwhelmed” list—meditation, nap, journaling, canceling a non-essential plan, a phone call to someone grounding.

Keep your list visible—on your phone, your mirror, your calendar.

4. Honor the Quiet Needs

Self-care isn’t always glamorous. It’s often boring, repetitive, and deeply effective.

Schedule it like a meeting.
Build it into your routines.
Resist the urge to wait until you’re “burnt out enough” to deserve it.

5. Communicate Your Needs

Let close friends, partners, or co-workers know what’s essential for your well-being. For example:

I need quiet time after work to decompress.
If I seem off, it’s usually because I haven’t eaten or slept well.
Nature resets me. I’ll be taking a solo hike this weekend.

This builds relational support for your self-care instead of trying to do it in isolation.

6. Revisit and Revise

Your needs change. Your life changes. Once a season (every 3 months), ask:

What’s working?
What’s missing?
What can I let go of?
What do I need to recommit to?

Self-care evolves—your plan should too.

Final Note

You don’t need to earn your well-being. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to justify care. You are allowed to feel good without a crisis. Start by giving yourself permission. The rest will follow.

Want a healthy relationship? It starts with you.

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Want a healthy relationship? It starts with you.

Your Physical Health:
You can’t show up fully for someone else if you’re not taking care of yourself. Eat nourishing foods, move your body daily, and prioritize sleep. Your physical health is the foundation for everything else—when you feel good in your body, everything else falls into place.

Your Mental Health:
Stress and unresolved emotional issues will affect all areas of your life, including your relationships. Learn to manage your stress, get outside and connect with nature, and don’t be afraid to see a therapist if there are emotional wounds you’re still carrying. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.

Your Finances:
A healthy relationship with money is key to a stable life—and a stable relationship. Get your finances in order by building up savings, paying down any debt, and learning about investing. Feeling secure about your finances will give you peace of mind and help you be a more confident and grounded partner.

Your Job:
No one wants to be around someone who’s constantly complaining about work. If you’re unhappy in your job, start exploring other opportunities. You deserve to be doing work that excites and fulfills you, and being stuck in a job you hate will only drain your energy and affect your overall happiness.

Connections that Count: Mastering Networking in Silicon Valley

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Networking is one of the true cornerstones of living and thriving in Silicon Valley. When I initially started my business in 2003, I immediately placed myself in the middle of events that were high-value and target rich -- I wanted to mix and network with like-minded entrepreneurs. Early on, I found out about the first location based social network called “Meetro.”

The founders of Meetro would put on networking events in "real life.”  I started by attending their bowling nights in Palo Alto, which truly put me completely out of my comfort zone as I wore a pink bowling shirt, ugly bowling shoes, and played against different entrepreneurs. It was goofy, it was silly, and it was plain old cheap fun. I met some great folks and remember handing my business card to a lady named Jessica. I didn’t think much of that particular contact other, than that I was trying to be friendly, hand my card out, and meet lots of new people. 

A few weeks later, Jessica called me and shared details that she was a reporter with the San Francisco Chronicle and inquired in a very kind way if she would be able to do a story on my teeny tiny matchmaking biz. I was completely surprised that she even remembered me, let alone wanted to do a story on Linx Dating. Delighted, I agreed and was interviewed over the phone. It was going to be a story right in time for Valentine’s Day. The day before the story was supposed to come out, she asked if she could get some images of me and proceeded to send a San Francisco Chronicle photographer down to meet me. We snapped a bunch of photos. She later shared, “Amy, rumor is, I think you might get the front cover of the newspaper!”  

February 14, 2007, my story came out and basically occupied the ENTIRE front page of the prestigious San Francisco Chronicle. I literally could not believe my eyes! Link to story

My business changed overnight and has never ceased growing! As an entrepreneur, I will be forever grateful to Jessica for that tremendous opportunity.  Beyond the friendships I made, all of this created incredible business opportunities and great business contacts. I met a man named Baris Karadogan who guided and periodically mentored me in my little Palo Alto office. Professionally, he spent ten years as an Stanford educated engineer, ten years in VC, and as a CEO. Most recently, he is CEO of a tech platform called Jingle.

A quick plug about Jingle….If you ever need fresh foods, beverages, etc., download the Jingle app - Jingle is a super cool food and services delivery platform. In a nutshell, it’s a very cost-effective marketplace for fast, direct deliveries from mobile stores and services.  In fact, at my recent networking event “Mix n Mingle” in Menlo Park, we hired Jingle to provide all of the beverages for our guests and boy was it a hit!  One of his VC mentors provided him business advice years ago and it has always stuck with Baris as a solid mantra, "Everyday you spend in the office at lunch is a waste.” What’s this mean exactly? Get out of the office at lunch, go outside, learn from people. Networking is paramount to being successful and everyone should make it like a second habit. Great advice!

Baris attended my 20th anniversary party for Linx Dating and shared this beautiful tribute on his social media. I was so touched. Baris didn’t need to do this but he did. 

"Some friendships are special. I met Amy about 20 years ago at a VC bowling event and she told me she was thinking of starting a matchmaking business.  I listened, tried to help every now and then and Linx dating was born in a tiny office in Palo Alto. As her business grew, so did our friendship. We both had families - each had kids, and we shared birthday parties, trick or treat walks, and were always there for each other. No matter what life threw at us, we always could grab a coffee or a glass of wine, and tell each other our happy and sad stories.  Twenty years later, Linx is a big success and we have been friends for 20 years.  It’s been a real pleasure walking parallel to the path of Amy’s life. I am utterly grateful to call you a dear friend. Thank you and here’s to 20 more years.” 

I will end this with a favorite quote by Woody Allen that Baris lives by: “Ninety percent of success in life is just showing up.” This is so true. I showed up to the Meetro event and that greatly impacted my career in ways I never could have imagined, and the professional dividends are still paying out some 20 years later!