Putting Self-Care into Practice: A Personalized Guide

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Understanding self-care as a personal curriculum is one thing. Living it is another. Here are concrete steps to help you identify, refine, and implement the care practices that are most effective for you.

1. Start with a Self-Audit

Take 15–30 minutes to reflect on the following:

When do I feel most like myself?
What consistently drains me?
What reliably restores me?
When do I feel calm, clear, or at ease?
What do I need more of—and what do I need less of?

Write down your answers. Patterns will emerge. They are clues.

2. Track the “Noise”

For one week, note moments when you feel agitated, foggy, overstimulated, or withdrawn. Then ask:

What preceded this feeling?
Was I hungry, overcommitted, overstimulated, or isolated?
Did I bypass a need (rest, food, quiet, connection)?

This process helps you understand your signals and what causes them.

3. Design Your Self-Care Menu

Using your insights, create a personalized self-care menu with three categories:

Daily Needs
Examples: 8 hours of sleep, 10 minutes of sunlight, a short walk, uninterrupted time alone.

Weekly Needs
Examples: creative time, therapy, dinner with a friend, decluttering a space.

Emergency Tools
Examples: “I’m overwhelmed” list—meditation, nap, journaling, canceling a non-essential plan, a phone call to someone grounding.

Keep your list visible—on your phone, your mirror, your calendar.

4. Honor the Quiet Needs

Self-care isn’t always glamorous. It’s often boring, repetitive, and deeply effective.

Schedule it like a meeting.
Build it into your routines.
Resist the urge to wait until you’re “burnt out enough” to deserve it.

5. Communicate Your Needs

Let close friends, partners, or co-workers know what’s essential for your well-being. For example:

I need quiet time after work to decompress.
If I seem off, it’s usually because I haven’t eaten or slept well.
Nature resets me. I’ll be taking a solo hike this weekend.

This builds relational support for your self-care instead of trying to do it in isolation.

6. Revisit and Revise

Your needs change. Your life changes. Once a season (every 3 months), ask:

What’s working?
What’s missing?
What can I let go of?
What do I need to recommit to?

Self-care evolves—your plan should too.

Final Note

You don’t need to earn your well-being. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to justify care. You are allowed to feel good without a crisis. Start by giving yourself permission. The rest will follow.

Want a healthy relationship? It starts with you.

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Want a healthy relationship? It starts with you.

Your Physical Health:
You can’t show up fully for someone else if you’re not taking care of yourself. Eat nourishing foods, move your body daily, and prioritize sleep. Your physical health is the foundation for everything else—when you feel good in your body, everything else falls into place.

Your Mental Health:
Stress and unresolved emotional issues will affect all areas of your life, including your relationships. Learn to manage your stress, get outside and connect with nature, and don’t be afraid to see a therapist if there are emotional wounds you’re still carrying. Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health.

Your Finances:
A healthy relationship with money is key to a stable life—and a stable relationship. Get your finances in order by building up savings, paying down any debt, and learning about investing. Feeling secure about your finances will give you peace of mind and help you be a more confident and grounded partner.

Your Job:
No one wants to be around someone who’s constantly complaining about work. If you’re unhappy in your job, start exploring other opportunities. You deserve to be doing work that excites and fulfills you, and being stuck in a job you hate will only drain your energy and affect your overall happiness.

Connections that Count: Mastering Networking in Silicon Valley

By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating

Networking is one of the true cornerstones of living and thriving in Silicon Valley. When I initially started my business in 2003, I immediately placed myself in the middle of events that were high-value and target rich -- I wanted to mix and network with like-minded entrepreneurs. Early on, I found out about the first location based social network called “Meetro.”

The founders of Meetro would put on networking events in "real life.”  I started by attending their bowling nights in Palo Alto, which truly put me completely out of my comfort zone as I wore a pink bowling shirt, ugly bowling shoes, and played against different entrepreneurs. It was goofy, it was silly, and it was plain old cheap fun. I met some great folks and remember handing my business card to a lady named Jessica. I didn’t think much of that particular contact other, than that I was trying to be friendly, hand my card out, and meet lots of new people. 

A few weeks later, Jessica called me and shared details that she was a reporter with the San Francisco Chronicle and inquired in a very kind way if she would be able to do a story on my teeny tiny matchmaking biz. I was completely surprised that she even remembered me, let alone wanted to do a story on Linx Dating. Delighted, I agreed and was interviewed over the phone. It was going to be a story right in time for Valentine’s Day. The day before the story was supposed to come out, she asked if she could get some images of me and proceeded to send a San Francisco Chronicle photographer down to meet me. We snapped a bunch of photos. She later shared, “Amy, rumor is, I think you might get the front cover of the newspaper!”  

February 14, 2007, my story came out and basically occupied the ENTIRE front page of the prestigious San Francisco Chronicle. I literally could not believe my eyes! Link to story

My business changed overnight and has never ceased growing! As an entrepreneur, I will be forever grateful to Jessica for that tremendous opportunity.  Beyond the friendships I made, all of this created incredible business opportunities and great business contacts. I met a man named Baris Karadogan who guided and periodically mentored me in my little Palo Alto office. Professionally, he spent ten years as an Stanford educated engineer, ten years in VC, and as a CEO. Most recently, he is CEO of a tech platform called Jingle.

A quick plug about Jingle….If you ever need fresh foods, beverages, etc., download the Jingle app - Jingle is a super cool food and services delivery platform. In a nutshell, it’s a very cost-effective marketplace for fast, direct deliveries from mobile stores and services.  In fact, at my recent networking event “Mix n Mingle” in Menlo Park, we hired Jingle to provide all of the beverages for our guests and boy was it a hit!  One of his VC mentors provided him business advice years ago and it has always stuck with Baris as a solid mantra, "Everyday you spend in the office at lunch is a waste.” What’s this mean exactly? Get out of the office at lunch, go outside, learn from people. Networking is paramount to being successful and everyone should make it like a second habit. Great advice!

Baris attended my 20th anniversary party for Linx Dating and shared this beautiful tribute on his social media. I was so touched. Baris didn’t need to do this but he did. 

"Some friendships are special. I met Amy about 20 years ago at a VC bowling event and she told me she was thinking of starting a matchmaking business.  I listened, tried to help every now and then and Linx dating was born in a tiny office in Palo Alto. As her business grew, so did our friendship. We both had families - each had kids, and we shared birthday parties, trick or treat walks, and were always there for each other. No matter what life threw at us, we always could grab a coffee or a glass of wine, and tell each other our happy and sad stories.  Twenty years later, Linx is a big success and we have been friends for 20 years.  It’s been a real pleasure walking parallel to the path of Amy’s life. I am utterly grateful to call you a dear friend. Thank you and here’s to 20 more years.” 

I will end this with a favorite quote by Woody Allen that Baris lives by: “Ninety percent of success in life is just showing up.” This is so true. I showed up to the Meetro event and that greatly impacted my career in ways I never could have imagined, and the professional dividends are still paying out some 20 years later!  

Linx's summer reading list

1. How to Not Die Alone (Simon & Schuster) by Logan Ury

2. Wired for Love (New Harbinger Publications) by Stan Tatking

3. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Harmony Books) by John and Julie Gottman

4. Getting the Love You Want (St. Martin’s Griffin) by Harville Hendrix

We wanted to share some of our top books to add to your 2022 summer reading list. The four books we have listed above can provide you with the tools to expand your relational skills in intimacy, personal accountability, vulnerability, and much more. 

Step into the summer months by bringing transformative personal growth! Prioritize taking care of yourself and advancing your personal experiences to try new things with new people. 

Happy reading! XO