By Amy Andersen, Founder and CEO of Linx Dating
Understanding self-care as a personal curriculum is one thing. Living it is another. Here are concrete steps to help you identify, refine, and implement the care practices that are most effective for you.
1. Start with a Self-Audit
Take 15–30 minutes to reflect on the following:
When do I feel most like myself?
What consistently drains me?
What reliably restores me?
When do I feel calm, clear, or at ease?
What do I need more of—and what do I need less of?
Write down your answers. Patterns will emerge. They are clues.
2. Track the “Noise”
For one week, note moments when you feel agitated, foggy, overstimulated, or withdrawn. Then ask:
What preceded this feeling?
Was I hungry, overcommitted, overstimulated, or isolated?
Did I bypass a need (rest, food, quiet, connection)?
This process helps you understand your signals and what causes them.
3. Design Your Self-Care Menu
Using your insights, create a personalized self-care menu with three categories:
Daily Needs
Examples: 8 hours of sleep, 10 minutes of sunlight, a short walk, uninterrupted time alone.
Weekly Needs
Examples: creative time, therapy, dinner with a friend, decluttering a space.
Emergency Tools
Examples: “I’m overwhelmed” list—meditation, nap, journaling, canceling a non-essential plan, a phone call to someone grounding.
Keep your list visible—on your phone, your mirror, your calendar.
4. Honor the Quiet Needs
Self-care isn’t always glamorous. It’s often boring, repetitive, and deeply effective.
Schedule it like a meeting.
Build it into your routines.
Resist the urge to wait until you’re “burnt out enough” to deserve it.
5. Communicate Your Needs
Let close friends, partners, or co-workers know what’s essential for your well-being. For example:
I need quiet time after work to decompress.
If I seem off, it’s usually because I haven’t eaten or slept well.
Nature resets me. I’ll be taking a solo hike this weekend.
This builds relational support for your self-care instead of trying to do it in isolation.
6. Revisit and Revise
Your needs change. Your life changes. Once a season (every 3 months), ask:
What’s working?
What’s missing?
What can I let go of?
What do I need to recommit to?
Self-care evolves—your plan should too.
Final Note
You don’t need to earn your well-being. You don’t have to hit rock bottom to justify care. You are allowed to feel good without a crisis. Start by giving yourself permission. The rest will follow.